Tonight is Mom’s annual Christmas party. In the early evening, Husband and I will bring our little girls (dressed in matching plaid skirts and red tights!) to my childhood home for the festivities. Like every year, there will be clusters of friends and family, a big tree with rainbow lights and vintage ornaments, and a surplus of yummy food and drink. Like every year, we will scatter hellos and hugs. We will celebrate many things: a sparkly season, another good year, a fabulous family.
There is only one year I can remember when Mom and Dad didn’t host this party. And it was all my fault. That year – 2004 – was the year of our wedding. And Husband and I chose Saturday, December 18th for our big day. Ergo, no Christmas party. But that was fine because our wedding was a party of epic proportions. We draped tables in glittery swaths and hung decorations from bare white branches. We danced with our nearest and dearest under the Museum’s big blue whale. The trombone player? Well, he was high on something. And when guests left for the night, they did so with a tiny gingerbread house replica of my childhood brownstone.
The very home we will alight tonight with our little girls. And so. I guess you could say I am feeling nostalgic, and thoughtful. About magical moments six long and short years ago. About parties in my past under gargantuan sea creatures and under my parents’ roof. About the laughter and cheer and memories that commingle in my wake. About life and loss and celebration and soul.
Six years ago tonight, Husband and I welcomed our closest friends and family to the Boat House for our rehearsal dinner. I wore an outrageous and lovely pre-recession blue velvet Gucci suit. We smiled so much that night. On the eve of our I dos, on the precipice of our most wondrous plunge.
And tonight? We will celebrate again. This time with the little girls who add the utmost glow to our green. This time with a hovering awareness of time that has trickled by, the people who have come and gone, and all the good parties to come.
And tomorrow. Like every morning, Husband and I will wake up next to each other. Six years beyond our fabled start. Before gathering our girls, we will linger. And realize. How much has happened – exquisite, wrenching, magical, mundane – between Then and Now. I will take his hand and place it on my belly, an invitation to imagine what’s to come. And then we will do it. We will scoop up our pajama-clad girls and begin another good day.
And next week? And the week after? I will not be here. I will be with my man and my girls. I will put my feet up and enjoy the season with my sweet ones. I will do something I am not very good at doing, something that is so vital to do from time to time, something my body and mind are telling me to do.
I will pause.
Happy anniversary, Husband! Happy Holidays, all! See you in 2011!
______________________________
Do you plan to take a breather over the holidays? Do you have a hard time pausing the program that is life? Do you believe in the importance of living and loving and partying and pausing?
**I will not be posting over the next while, but I will be reading, so leave me a comment and send me to your blog or another blog you love. I look forward to stumbling into new cyberspaces this season, so if you are a new to this blogging game, make sure to let me (and all of us) know!**
Did I mention that my rookie novel LIFE AFTER YES would make a lovely holiday gift? Click away to order it any of the following places: Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Borders, Indie Bound, or Target!
What a beautiful post,Aidan. As I read your post,I listen to your words.Your words are full of gratitude and wonder for all these wonderful memories that you cherish and the wonderful things to come. I hope you enjoy your pause with those you love.Merry Christmas to you and your loved ones.
Thank you, Ayala. This blog has indeed helped me to take stock of the life and love I have and for that I am grateful. I hope you have a wonderful holiday season as well! It will be hard for me to pause for two weeks, but I know it will be so good for me and my fam.
Love the photos and the stories. Good for you for “pausing”. I think things naturally slow down and I look forward to this. I am not sure about the blog *foodtrainers.blogspot.com* pause. Sometimes, with more time on my hands blogging is more fun. Plus, will have lots of time to cook, think and “marinate”. Happy Holidays!
I wrestled with this decision too. Particularly because I have had so much fun blogging recently. It will be hard to adjust to not posting every day. That said, I am run down and in need of some old school, unadulterated family time. And I know the two weeks will fly! That said, I look forward to reading your holiday posts. xo
Happy Anniversary! It sounds like your family has a magical holiday season ahead of you. Enjoy your pause!
Thank you, Alecia! I hope you and your little hairdresser have a sparkly holiday too!
Lovely words to read this morning. I will be slowing down in this season, re-examining my priorities as well. Something about winter brings about natural introspection!
Happy anniversary!
I agree that there is something about this time of year, the chill and coziness, that prompts us to reflect and rethink. Thank you and happy holidays, Louise!
Merry Christmas and Happy Anniversary to you! I love that you’re giving yourself a break from blogging for a couple of weeks. I have some posts scheduled for the next two weeks, but am scrambling to get them all done so that I can pre-schedule them and unplug a bit for the holidays. They go so fast, and my kids will only be little once, so I want so spend as much time as I can with them.
So interesting because I debated this. Whether to line up some posts or unplug altogether. I figured that if I posted, I would still be publishing comments, etc and feel an intense desire to really step back. It is tough though as I love this place. Great that you are unplugging in your own way. I think it is so important for us all to breathe. Enjoy your holidays, Jonita!
Happy Anniversary! What lovely photos, and what a great tradition.
Thanks, Abby! Still debating the names, particularly after your latest email
Hope you have a great holiday!
I remember this time last year when you decided to Press Pause for the first time, and I was so happy for you. I will be following suit and going “offline” sometime next week.
Enjoy your down time. Enjoy your man and your girls. Enjoy your sisters and your mother. Enjoy the sights and sounds and smells of the season. And have a very happy anniversary. XOXO.
Thank you, Gale. Taking time last year was so good for me. And it taught me that we can do this, breathe and step back for a bit, and that all will be okay. I think this is a wonderful time of year for us all to pause (if we can) and think. I hope you have a wonderful couple of weeks with your guys. xoxo
Wiping away tears, again! I think your posts have made me cry the past 2-3 mornings. Very well said. Sometimes in life we all do need to pause and just breathe in what is going on around us. Thank you for the reminder! I needed it.
Pausing and breathing are important activities (non-activities) for all of us, but why is it so hard for us to do these things? I don’t know. Thank you for your kind words and continued support, Alicia. Happy holidays!
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What a beautiful post! Happy Anniversary, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
I wish that I could pause this holiday season, but alas, it will not be so. I work in an industry that is always open and although I love my career there are moments where I’m envious of those that can enjoy the wonderful holiday season with two glorious weeks off. Admittedly, the financial industry is where I belong. I’m a go, go, go (achieve, achieve, achieve) type of person, always looking to the future. Hopefully someday I’ll learn to pause because I know life and time flies.
Wishing you all the best this holiday season!
Thank you for reminding me that it is not always up to us to pause. Some of us have no choice but to keep going and I feel very very fortunate that I am able to call the shots in this regard. I love the way you describe yourself; Indeed it sounds like you know just where you belong! Happy holidays, Kristen!
Aidan,
Happy Holidays to you and yours this season. High five on pressing pause. Enjoy it.
Thank you, Rudri. Hope you and your family have a wonderful couple of weeks!
Lovely memories. These moments to take stock and spend with family are so precious. To be cherished.
Enjoy your holidays!
Thank you, BLW. I hope and trust that you too will have some wonderful holiday moments with your sons this season. Happy happy!
Enjoy your break. I rarely take more than a day or two off so I expect that things will be moving at my joint.
And have fun with your girls because these moments are so very magical. Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Thanks, Jack. Bravo to you for going and going. Happy holidays to you and yours!
Happy anniversary!
And, as someone who is in “pause” right now, I completely understand. Relax, have a fun Christmas, have fun with your family.
Happy to be in good company in pausing
Hope you are having a relaxing and joyful time. Thanks, Cathy!
What a magical time of year! Thank you for sharing your reflections and celebrations with us. Such a simple reminder to be grateful for all we have in our lives (past, present and future).
I’ll continue to blog next week but I plan to take the week between Christmas and New Year’s off. I work for a university and our offices are closed then. It’s a well deserved rest. I plan to use the time wisely relaxing with my guys. Oh, and reading LAY that I order from amazon because Target was sold out.
Happy Anniversary and Merry Christmas!
I look forward to reading your posts next week! Hope you have a great week off and I am thrilled that you plan to spend part of it reading LAY. Guess it’s not a bad sign that it’s sold out of Target, huh?
Happy holidays to you and your family!
Happy Anniversary, and happy holidays! Enjoy the pause…I will be on “slow-mo” myself.
Thanks, Amanda! Enjoy your “slow-mo” moments this holiday season
I love this post. Happy anniversary! Perhaps my best drunken moment ever
, if I do say so myself, that led to that spectacular day. Wish we could be at the Christmas party, kisses to you all!
Thanks, Jess. I have you (and all that Pinot Grigio) to thank for reaching this milestone
Hope you guys are great and that your sweet little santa is all smiles this season. xoxo
Happy anniversary and Merry Christmas to you and yours, Aidan. Enjoy. Family time is ALWAYS the best time.
Thanks, Terry! Happy holiday to you and yours. Thanks, as always, for your lovely words and support.
Wow, December is a busy month for you, with Christmas and birthdays and wedding anniversaries. In the midst of the usual holiday flurry, this sounds like an excellent time to pause. And enjoy. And record. And remember. To encompass all your celebrations this month, I’ll wish you a Happy December! =>
Yes, ’tis a busy time of year for us, but that’s also what makes it so magical… So many wonderful things to celebrate! I hope you and yours are having a great December and holiday season too.
Gorgeous photos of your beautiful children.
I hope you have a fantastic holiday and a much deserved blogging hiatus! I wish I could do the same but for some reason I insist on furthering my carpal tunnel.
Happy Anniversary and Happy Holidays!
Thanks, Ameena! Isn’t it crazy how hard it is to step away from this world? There is something curiously addictive (and undeniably rewarding) about this blogging gig, no? I hope you and your family have a lovely couple of weeks and that your carpal tunnel behaves itself
happy anniversary! hope the night with the lights and the parties and the babes in tights was magical.
enjoy your pause. we were made for a sabbath–relish every joy.
Thank you for your words and support, Suzannah. I have become someone who has trouble pausing and I sit here on this Monday morning eager to post something to this blog, but knowing that I have made the right call, that it will be good for me to sit back and unwind and soak up the sweetness of this season. Friday night was indeed wonderful. Full of joy and frolic and tradition. I hope that you have a lovely holidays with your family!
My daughter just turned one and I have been trying SO hard to pause and play with her, and remember the cute things she does. I try to write in her journal for her or take a picture. But at the very least, I try to just take a mental picture of how she is, who she is, and how she changes each and every day. I think having an infant that grows into a toddler and changes so fast really makes you aware of how you go through life blind half the time.
Enjoy the holidays!
This idea of parental blindness really resonates with me. It is so hard, isn’t it, to actually see our creatures, who they are, and how they develop. Truth be told, I think that this is why (among and handful of other reasons having to do with identity and grief) I started this blog. I think I knew – and keenly – that I needed to do something that would force me to slow and study the moments of my life – the good ones, the bad ones, the middle ones.
I hope you have a great couple of weeks with your little girl. Thanks for chiming in here, Stephanie. I look forward to spending some time on your blog!
I’m sorry to hear that you are taking a pause (purely for selfish reasons b/c I am just addicted to your daily musings) but I completely understand and respect your need for some quality family time. I just found a quote from Pat Conroy’s My Reading Life and it reminded me of your overall take on writing and blogging.
“A novelist must wrestle with all mysteries and strangeness of life itself, and anyone who does not wish to accept that grand, bone-chilling commission should write book reviews, editorials, or health-insurance policies instead. The idea of the novel should stir your blood, and you should rise to it like a lion lifting up at the smell of the impala. It should be instinctual, incurable, unanswerable, and a calling not a choice.”
Also, quick question…because your blog delves so deeply into your own life and psyche, I was curious, do you keep a diary or journal? Do you write daily?
Enjoy your break and I hope you and your family have a very Merry Christmas!
xx
Jocelyn
PS- I did bring LAY on the plane to Australia and recommended it to everyone!! …and I mean, EVERYONE!
Also, I posted my review on Amazon.
First of all, thank you!!! For spreading the word about LAY and for your lovely Amazon review. Your enthusiasm and support mean the world.
I love the quote above and it very much speaks to me. I have never quite thought of it in this way, but yes, absolutely, writing (fiction particularly) has encouraged/forced me to look inward and study self and to look out and study the strangeness and mysteries of the world. There is so much work to do beyond the typical brainstorming and outlining and writing of a novel. And this is tough work, sometimes unwelcome and jarring, but I welcome it. I am passionate about asking these big questions even if they are not easy.
This is one of the main reasons why blogging is so important, if not vital, for me. People often remark how interesting it is that I write fiction, but that on my blog, it is all about me. I don’t see this as odd at all. In getting to know myself and my insecurities and the world, I feel that I am far better equipped to paint a compelling fictional world. Indeed it is all connected.
As for writing every day? I write most days. Whether it is a paragraph or a chapter or several of my novel or a blog post or a little note on a question that rivets me, I usually write something.
Again, thank you, Jocelyn. And I’m sorry to disappoint you by taking a few weeks off
I will be back before you know it!! Happy holidays!
Happy Holidays and anniversary! Christmas is such a magical time in NY… enjoy it.
xoxoxo
Thanks, Rebecca. Happy holidays to you and yours!
Happy Holidays lovely lady. May this pause bring you a renewed energy and much happiness to start the New Year.
I am hoping for just that – a renewed energy and happy start to the new year. I have good feelings about 2011 for all of us. Happy holidays, Christine!
As you probably have guessed by now, I am a big fan of traditions and the memories of Christmas. It is wonderful that you have so many all piled into one time of the year! I hope that it was a wonderful party, and a wonderful anniversary! Happy anniversary!
Thank you! Yes, I have so enjoyed reading about your own holiday memories and traditions. What a rich and textured time of year. Hope you have a wonderful couple of weeks.
Happy Holidays, Happy Anniversary and let’s lift a glass of Pinot Grigio to hitting the pause button at this crazy, beautiful time of year!
What a lovely post, filled with memories and hints of memories yet to be made.
We are indeed like-minded, Aidan. (I sometimes refer to myself as a refugee from the legal profession.) Nice to meet you on Twitter and our respective blogs. I look forward to getting to know you through your writing in 2011.
Enjoy your time with your family!
Yes, a big (sadly non-alcoholic for me) cheers to pressing pause at this lovely and hectic time of year! It is always a real treat to encounter fellow bloggers and players in this game of life – particularly those who have similar stories. (Love the “refugee” language, btw.) I very much look forward to trading words and wisdom (hey, let’s hope, right?) in the coming year!
Happy holidays, Tracy!
This post is so heartwarming and touching. You write so beautifully and you have such a beautiful family. Congratulations on your anniversary. I’m actually not sure how I stumbled upon your blog, but I’m certainly glad that I did. Your subtitle definitely caught my attention — no league prepares you for life! I remember when I graduated from CU in 2006 (we have the same alma mater!), I was terrified!
Now, I am back at Columbia for graduate school, but this time I’m a mother. I have a delicious 3-year-old son and I’m still trying to figure it all out. I’m relatively new to blogging — I’ve been doing it for less than a year — but I’m amazed at the amazing people that I’ve met. Like you.
I’m adding your blog to my blogroll — Mommy Delicious (http://momdelicious.blogspot.com) and can not wait to connect more with you in the new year.
Happy Holidays to you and your beautiful family!
Cheers!
PS: My son’s name is also Aiden, spelled with an “e” though.
Alicia –
Welcome! Love all the connections – NYC, Columbia, a son with the best name in the world
I said as much in my message to you, but this is indeed why I blog – to encounter wonderful people and thinkers whom I might otherwise not meet in this wide world. I hope you and your son have a lovely holiday and I very much look forward to getting to know you and your words in 2011 
PS – A big thanks for adding me to your (delicious) blogroll!
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Hope you’re enjoying your break! We did as well!
Thanks, Amy! I have very much enjoyed my break but am thrilled to come back here. Tomorrow! Hope your time off was great. Cheers to 2011
The rainbow lights make everything look so warm and welcoming . Love this time of the year where family,friends come together to celebrate ! The pictures look great! With every Christmas I too get nostalgic of my old days when Christmas only meant Santa clause and gifts!
Which Ornament on Christmas Tree are you?
Are you an angel or a star on the Christmas tree?
http://www.3smartcubes.com/pages/tests/christmas_ornament/christmas_ornament_instructions.asp
Thanks for your comment, Kate! Hard to believe that Christmas is history and we are in a grand new year. Time is flying! I must say that I have never been asked before what ornament I am on the Christmas tree
Not sure how to answer that one!
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