Husband took this photo one week ago today. It was the day after our little girl was born and our second day in the hospital. I sat there in the mechanical hospital bed, in my tie-dye robe, cuddling my tiny creature, remembering how good it feels to clutch new life, to sniff baby sweetness, to be a mom.
It’s been just one week. I am too tired to tell whether this week has felt long or short. Truth be told, the days have been a swirl of blurriness and utter clarity, furious fog and keen sunshine. I am happy to be home, to be here in this euphoric and exhausting haze.
I am also pleased to be here again. At this screen. Last week, I pondered posting. You see, I have plenty to say, to record, to remember. But, ultimately, it didn’t feel right to write. Instead, it felt appropriate to keep the computer closed, to keep my hands and body and mind free to embrace my new bundle and my new life.
I still feel this way. I do. But I also miss this. This spontaneous carving of experiential sculpture. This connection with worlds beyond the walls of my family home. This interaction with all of you and with another side of myself.
So. Here I am. Back. Maybe for the day. Maybe for good. It’s hard to tell.
It’s been just one week, but what a week it’s been. A week in which I have fallen deeply in love with a new being and with a new incarnation of my family. A week in which my body has done miraculous things. A week in which my mind has danced and wandered and marveled. A week in which I’ve logged countless hours in that pose above, gripping novelty, kissing soft skin, singing hello.
Just one week. A week of compelling change and poetic surrender. A week without control or rest. A week full of tears and smiles – mine and hers and ours. A week full of life and love.
An amazing week. One I can’t quite capture with words.
But still. Here I try.
Thank you so much to all of you for your lovely congratulatory words here at ILI and elsewhere. Though insanely shredded with fatigue, I feel so fortunate to be here, right here, in this raw and regal moment of my family’s life and to feel the support and love from so many of you. Thanks in advance for your patience with me as I figure out how to approach blogging (and all else) in this precarious and precious aftermath of my daughter’s birth.
Have you ever been amazed at how much life can change in the course of one hour or one day or one week? If you’ve had children, do you have any distinct memories of the early days that you’d like to share?