We had friends over for a casual night of beverages and bites. Barefoot kids swarmed around us, wearing winter hats and wielding wikkistix lassos, riveted by some thief game they’d invented. The whole scene was straight out of a Wes Anderson movie. (Go see the quirky and fabulous Moonrise Kingdom, by the way.)
We adults talked. We talked about many things. Interesting things. Toward the end of the evening, the conversation veered to infidelity. We all admitted that we’ve been privy to some sad cheating stories recently. One of our friends, a very smart man whom Husband and I respect and adore, had a theory. A theory which is decidedly not new. That theory?
Men cheat. They are biologically wired to cheat.
He said something along the lines of: Men marry and mean well, but in the end, they are animals and most of them will stray. He also suggested that we women really shouldn’t expect otherwise, or be so shocked by any of this.
And it wasn’t so much that I was shocked – I have friends and acquaintances who are weathering storms of infidelity as I write these words – but I was saddened. And a bit scared. Why? Because I am married. To a man I love. To a man I love and trust as much as it is possible to love and trust someone. It’s not that the conversation shook my faith in my own marriage, but rather that it opened my eyes to a potential and no doubt depressing reality.
I am choosing to shelve my friend’s theory as just that – a theory. One I will discuss on a blog rather than worry about in my life. Naive? So be it.
Thoughts on this theory? Do you think men are biologically wired to be unfaithful? What about women? Have you witnessed infidelity in your own relationship or in the relationships of those you know? Have any of these instances of cheating shocked you, i.e. happened to couples you thought were “good”?