A Few Words

Posted On: 06.26.12

Some people will never leave blog comments. They just don’t like the idea of it. They cling tightly, resolutely, to their anonymity. And I get that. And respect that. But some people don’t leave comments for other reasons, also valid. They don’t leave blog comments because they are busy, stretched, pulled in a million directions and leaving a comment seems like some kind of commitment, another thing to do.

I know this because I’ve felt it. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read a blog post, a beautiful or powerful or wickedly funny blog post, and clicked away without saying something. In part, I’ve done this because I prefer to leave thoughtful comments, comments with substance. I want to say something interesting and insightful and I don’t always have the time or energy or mental strength to do that, so I just don’t.

But I’ve realized something. It’s also good to just say a few words. To announce our presence, to say hey, I’m here reading and thank you for your words. There are many easy ways to do this, many things to say. A few examples:

  • Nice post.
  • Thank you.
  • Enjoyed this.
  • Interesting.
  • Thanks for making me think.
  • Like it.
  • Love it.
  • Not sure I agree.
  • I am here reading.
  • I am here.

Really, anything goes. I think I speak for most bloggers – whether we are newbies or veterans or somewhere in-between – when I say it means a lot to get a comment, not just for what the comment says, but what the physical arrival of the comment means – that someone is actually there, here, reading and taking a few seconds to announce that he/she is there, here, reading.

So. Anyway, this is something I hadn’t really thought of or realized so I thought it might be good to share. I’m not advocating inauthentic behavior here; If we don’t like a post, we shouldn’t respond. Ultimately, it’s not about numbers, but about knowing. Knowing that we bloggers/writers/people are in fact reaching people, that people are in fact there, here, reading and reacting.

A lot of my blogeagues have been saying that the Blog Comment is a thing of the past, no longer the metric for “success” in this world. And that might prove to be true, but I for one am not yet ready to give up on comments and the wonderful conversations they so often bring. I’m hopeful that there is a way for all of us to keep commenting without sacrificing too much of ourselves and our busy and good lives, online and off. Maybe I’m being naive on this one, but naivete isn’t the worst thing in the world, is it?

Do you leave blog comments often, sometimes, or never? Why? Do you agree that comments are appreciated even when they are tiny in size?

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  • YEAH WRITE. I am linking up today with other bloggers over at Yeah Write. I have done this for several weeks in a row and I really do think this is what has gotten me thinking - and optimistic - about the future of the blog comment. If you are interested in encountering other writers and building your blog community, click over.
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160 Comments for: "A Few Words"
  1. Elizabeth

    I love your blog and come here quite often (and very much love your new site!), but I admit I have never left a comment. For all of the reasons you listed above, but also because I feel I can never get my thoughts out as beautifully as yours. Please know your posts create laughs, tears and best of all conversation. Keep it up A πŸ™‚

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Can’t tell you how happy it is for me to see you here, Elizabeth. I know that I have many friends who read, but aren’t the “commenting kind.” But when a friend from my “real life” does leave a comment, it really does mean the world. So, thank you. And best of luck during this transition time πŸ™‚

  2. I try (try being an important word here) to leave comments when I read a blog, even if it is a short “thanks for sharing” because I want the writer to know someone is reading…maybe not someone terrible deep, or with a lot of time…but someone who is reading!

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Good for you. I know that I am getting better about this, or at least tryingas you say. I am also realizing how good it is, and feels, to respond to comments when they come in. I know that this will not always feasible, but it’s my aim to keep up with this. Since launching this new site, I have been much better about this – about responding, and engaging – and honestly? Blogging is more fun and fulfilling this way. Thanks, Bella Michelle!

  3. Nice post.
    Thank you.
    Enjoyed this.
    Thanks for making me think.
    Like it.
    Love it.
    Not sure I agree.
    I am here reading.
    I am here.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Love it. A fabulous list. Who came up with that? πŸ™‚ Thank you, Cat!

    • Cat beat me to the punch. Comments are always encouraging, even when they are negative. It’s wonderful to know that real people are out there reading what I wrote.

      • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

        Yes, they are always encouraging. Now you have me wondering how many of us are actually getting negative comments? I have gotten a share of nasty ones over the last three years, but they really have been few and far between. Interesting to think about. Thanks, Jay!

  4. To throw a twist in this great conversation, I will admit that I am a regular commenter and I usually, 7/10 will leave a comment on a post. This is especially so if it really moves me or connects to a part of my mind and/or heart. That being said, the reason (and I never thought it out until reading your words this morning) that I do not comment EVERY.TIME is a paranoia that the blogger will think “Hmmmm, Amanda comments here a lot…she is way invested in this blog” *Cue creepy music* Haha. I know it is probably silly, because I love reading comments and feedback on my blog. However, when you really look at it, a blog is inviting people, sometimes (usually) strangers into your life and I think that by leaving that “Hey I was here” mark every day kind of borders on admitting to virtual voyeurism. I read your blog every day, I comment probably once a week, but just for future reference….thank you, you inspire me as a mother, spouse, and friend.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Wow. This is SO interesting, Amanda. There are some people who have come up to me in my “real life” (quotes used because I consider the virtual world to be very “real” – “virtureal” at times) and they whisper something apologetically… I must admit something. I have been reading your blog. And I say to them what I will say to you and everyone else here: I am writing these words to be read! To learn that someone is coming here every day makes me HAPPY. It makes me feel like I am doing something right, and real. That’s it. No creepy music. No voyeurism. Words. Being read. A life. Being led.

      That said, thank you so much for saying these words today. They shed important light on another angle of this question. The twist you throw is much appreciated, Amanda πŸ™‚

  5. I completely agree. I have been blogging since 2008, off & on, until last year where it picked up at least 5 times a week. I hate when people come by & look, but not say anything. They don’t have to like it. My issue the most, is when I comment & they don’t respond.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      I completely respect that there are many people who will just never be the commenting kind. I’m not sure I would ever leave comments if I weren’t a blogger/writer myself, although I’d like to think I would. What is important to note is that I do appreciate every single comment that pops into my box. Three years into this odd gig and each response makes me smile. And, yes, I hear you about not getting a response to your own comment. I remember going to this guy’s blog for the first time and I left the longest comment about his post and about myself, basically introducing myself, and he never responded. And that just feels crappy, doesn’t it? I am really trying to get better about acknowledging comments as they come in. Not only is it much more fun to do this, but I think it is also kind. Thank you, Crystal!

      • Yes it does. Especially the heart felt ones.. The I relate, this is my story.

        • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

          “This is my story” comments are the absolute best. Isn’t it truly amazing when we tell our stories, stories that feel so wildly personal, and then we realize that they really are universal on some level, that others just get it?

          • Tessa

            Hi Aidan and Crystal,
            I just absolutely had to stop here and
            add a comment. What first attracted me
            was the title “A few words”. It made me
            chuckle as I, myself, am not into “a few
            words” (see my comment under Taxi Cab Tears.
            I too believe that life is about stories
            – the telling of stories, the sharing
            of stories…… As I get started up
            my really close friends will sometimes
            say “Is there a short version?” I
            just give them a withering look and
            dive in head first, often getting lost
            along the way and having to be redirected –
            hahahaha !!

            Yes, let’s keep the stories of life going !

          • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

            Yes, it’s all about stories. for me at least. I love the idea that we all have our own stories – our own constellation of stories – and when we talk and write and ask, our stories get tangled into a big story sky. How’s that for metaphorical? πŸ™‚

  6. Monica Selby (@monicajselby)

    You are so right! I never leave comments. Sometimes I don’t because I figure my thoughts/accolades will just get lost in the crowd. Other times I start, then decide I sound stupid, and delete. Also, my kids…they’re loud and hungry all.the.time. (Even now, with only one at home, I’m being interrupted.)

    So, I rarely comment, but then feel a little pout-y when I receive no comments. How’s that for logic?

    Anyway, I’m glad I found you and your blog. I love it.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      All of your reasons ring true for me. And that’s the thing, right? That there are so many reasons not to leave comments (or do other good things in life) – reasons of time-management, and doubt, and… the list goes on. I also so relate to the pouting when I don’t get comments. It makes me feel icky when I write something and it just hangs out there, but then I try to remember that other people feel this way too. So happy you found your way here, Monica! Look forward to visiting your digs, too.

  7. I agree. I understand time constraints only too well, and don’t expect profundity from every comment, but a simple indication that you’re not playing to an empty house is always nice. πŸ™‚

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Yes. Yes. Yes. The feeling that you might be playing to an empty house is not a pretty one. Thank you, Linda!

  8. Sam

    You blog was actually the very first one I ever left a comment on. And once I joined the conversation here, I found myself leaving comments all over this bloggy universe. Because I realized that it feels just as good to join a conversation, whether it be serious, silly or somewhere in between, as it does to start a conversation on my own blog. To me it feels like friendship. Like a special community of writers, readers, and thinkers. So, thanks for starting these conversations. Looking forward to being a part of many more.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Sam, I love this. That this was the first place you left a comment and that you have gone on to be a champion commenter elsewhere in this odd and wonderful bloggy ether. It does feel good to say something, doesn’t? To elicit a response from an actual person who is somewhere living her life? To partake in connection, conversation about little and big, about life? So thrilled to have you here, today and always. xxo

  9. I don’t want to give up on the comment yet either. I love what I learn from people who are reading and who know so much more shit than I do. Many of my commenters are better parents, better readers, better writers and generally better people than I am. Long live the comments!!!!

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Yes indeedy – long live the comments. I guess what I am also realizing is that blogging, to be fun and fruitful, cannot be a passive affair. We need to engage, to explore, to visit other writers and people to expect them to visit us, and engage, and explore. I think this is one of the main reasons I am so enjoying Yeah Write – because it is a wonderful gathering of others who are not ready to give up on the comments, or the community that can still be had and celebrated in this world. Thanks, you.

  10. I have said this before..I think we all want to be seen and to be acknowledged and a part of it is receiving a comment…even when a comment is short it lets you or me know that we are heard…that we are seen. We spill ourselves into our blogs…and at the end it’s good to know that we have support.
    When I began this journey and you left me comments it meant the world to me and I will never forget that.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Yes. I couldn’t agree with you more – we all have a deep and abiding need to be seen, and acknowledged. This really isn’t just about blogging. On some unconscious level, I think you might have inspired this post, Ayala, because you are SO good about leaving comments. Even when they are small, they are gems that make me smile. I am going to really try to do this more – to make my rounds, and read, and say a little something. Oh, and it means the world to me that you remember those first comments of mine on your blog so fondly πŸ™‚ xox

      • Thank you, Aidan. At times I leave a small comment just to let you know that I was here and that I am listening to you. I know how important that is. I hope you do make your rounds and visit again. xox.

  11. Meg

    I am here, Aidan! Always. Even when I don’t comment. (Though I try to, I really do.)

    It’s funny: for the first year or so I was blogging, comments would rarely trickle in. I didn’t understand them or really look for them. I treated my blog like a journal, jotting down whatever I wanted — and if a comment cropped up, awesome. I seemed to get more response to posts I’d devoted so little energy into writing. The ones where I felt I’d bared my soul? The posts I’d committed energy and time into creating, the ones I was so proud of? Nothing but silence.

    And over time, my blog began to feel like a diary… as others became more successful, my own space seemed to become more private. And then: boom! I felt discovered. Comments came pouring in. I was featured on a few sites, sending thousands of hits my way, and I felt like a spotlight had been flipped on. I joined communities. Made countless friends. Forged professional contacts. And my little blog? The quiet space, the private space? It changed. Dramatically.

    But I’m not spinning a “woe is me” tale. I’ve just noticed that my posting is very different now than it might have been in the past, knowing that what I write will likely garner some response . . . and I’ll be held accountable for that. It’s not private or anonymous; my face is right there. It was a strange feeling at first, knowing someone will hear me. It scared me. But it’s also changed me — as a person; as a writer — and I hope it’s for the better.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Meg, this is all so interesting. Isn’t something that we want people to read our words, to really see us, but when they do read and do see us, it can change the game entirely? For whatever reason, I do not dwell too much on who is reading or how many people. But every now and then I do check my stats and smile to know that so many people are popping by. There is an immense, if complicated, reward in knowing that people are reading what we are writing (and feeling), no? And all of this? It is scary and amazing and, yes, it changes us. But I am a big believer in change.

      Thank you so much for this, Meg.

  12. Kathryn

    I don’t have time! aaaah! But you make a good point. I do READ blogs and should take the time to acknowledge the people who put the effort into the blogs I like to read. (And, anyway, I actually dislike the excuse “I don’t have time” because I do have time for the things I prioritize…it’s more like, I am just stopping by so, “Hi, bye!”) Anyway… xoxo

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Oh how I here you. The time thing gets me each and every day. There are so many things I would do more, and more consistently, if there were only more hours in the day. The time thing is inescapable and real. I guess what I am saying – and really this is as much a memo to myself as it is to anyone – is that if I am taking the time to read blogs, it really does not add much time AT ALL to leave a few words. And that, as a blogger, I know how much even a few words can matter. There have been times over the past three years when I’ve been pulled away from this world thanks to babies and books and other good stuff and I haven’t been able to read blogs at all, but when I do carve out the time, I am personally going to try to take those extra 30 seconds or a minute to comment because I know how meaningful the gesture can be.

      Does any of this make any sense? Not sure. Alas.


  13. I don’t always leave a blog comment but the great majority of the time I will. I will usually leave one if I can add something to the story. How I related. Etc. If I cant relate I usually will wait until a post where I can to leave a comment.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Carrie – this makes perfect sense. We should only comment – even if it’s just a few words – when something about a piece of writing speaks to us, and we can relate. I would never advocate leaving words just for the sake of leaving words. I guess this is really about taking that extra step when we are in fact moved by something the writer is saying. Thank you πŸ™‚

  14. Kristen

    I do leave comments on your blog. However, I follow a number of other blogs and very rarely (actually, almost never) post comments on these blogs. The reason for this – you invite comments and conversation. I know, more often than not, that you’ll respond. On other blogs, that’s not the case.

    Thank you for inviting conversation – I love this about you and your blog.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      This means a great deal, Kristen. The last three years have been quite the journey (please know how much I hate the word journey. It reminds me of the Bachelor/ette and then I am reminded that I actually watch, and secretly enjoy, the Bachelor/ette which makes me feel pathetic). One of my biggest beliefs? That happiness is conversation. I have written about this before, but I feel this, and deeply. My happiest memories are in fact of conversations I’ve had with people about meaningful things. And so. My aim here has always been to trigger a good conversations. I admit that I have gone in and out of following through with this; there have been times when I have not been good about getting off my own blog, or responding to comments here. But I am trying to change that. I very much hope you continue to comment here πŸ™‚

  15. I think you and I are kindred spirits. I remember the first time I got a comment from someone I DIDN’T know in real life. I still get the same feeling anytime I get a heads up email. I headed over here from Yeah Write, and I think I’ll stick around.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Welcome, Travis. I am so happy you stumbled here from Yeah Write. I have so been enjoying the weekly linkups for this very reason – because they force me out of my own little world here and allow me to encounter kindred spirits and explore the wildness of other people’s words. When a WordPress notification appears in my email, I smile. And then I click and read the comment and smile some more. Unless the comment is nasty. Which rarely happens. But even when the comment is a little less than nice, I feel okay, good even, because I know I am indeed reaching people.

      I do hope you’ll stick around. And I look forward to coming to visit you.

  16. San

    I loved this! πŸ™‚

    I usually try to leave blog comments, because I know they’re appreciated… even only a few words.
    I am definitely guilty though of reading and not commenting, because I don’t have the energy or time to say something substantial.

    Still, I agree that a few little words go a long way in the blogging world πŸ™‚

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Thank you, San. Look – I know that in reality we will not all magically morph into perfect commenters (whatever that means) but I think it is good to take a step back and realize that this blogging thing is not just about writing. It is about communing, and connecting, and collaborating. It is about engaging in a world bigger than our own life. I guess I have been extra-reflective about all of this lately as I continue to ponder how it is that I want to be spending my days, and my life. If I am going to continue to blog – oh, and I am – I want to get as much as possible out of it. And this? This exchange? It makes it all worthwhile.

  17. You are so right. I have been thinking this often lately.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Thank you, Christie. I think we should all think about these things – why we blog, why we read other blogs, why we leave comments or don’t, whether we truly care about the conversational aspect of this world.

  18. howie

    Ok. Here you go.
    Nice post.
    Thank you.
    Enjoyed this.
    Thanks for making me think.
    Like it.
    Love it.
    Not sure I agree.
    I am here reading.
    I am here.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Thank you, Howie πŸ™‚

      • He’s my husband and has an interesting sense of humor. πŸ˜‰

        • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

          Nothing better than husbands with interesting senses-o-humor. Love that I have managed to get both hubby and white to comment on the same post. Score! Thanks, Caren. (How is your writing going? The juggling act between mothering and writing? I feel like I am struggling with it these days but also that it is a privilege to live this struggle. Does that make any sense?) Thanks!

          • I agree with you on all counts. I’m so lucky to have my babies! I fit in tiny drabs of revising when I can, not much new writing. But I had a lot of years of writing before my kids. I may take a few days off work to do some writing some day maybe.

          • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

            I so get this. What’s interesting and complicated for me is that my writing life really kicked off when my mothering life did. I do not think this is a coincidence. I think that creating life encouraged me to create life in my stories. I continue to be amazed by how much my experience as a mom informs my experience and vice versa. The tricky thing is that I feel like I am just getting into my groove, and connecting dots, and finding my voice and I feel this true and wonderful passion to write and write and write… But the reality is that I have these amazing little girls who need me and I need them and there are only so many hours in the day. This morning is the perfect example. Husband is away on business and my nanny is on vacation and so I had the trio in tow running all around the city to camps and home again and it was time I normally would have been writing… But the morning – though a marathon – was SO real and rewarding and it made me wonder whether I am making the right decisions, you know? Whether I should backburner my writing a bit more and embrace this fleeting time with my tiny ones? Oh, the doubting and questioning and wondering… All part of this game it is a privilege to play, huh? Sorry for the ramble πŸ™‚

  19. Oh YES! How many times have I wondered (in the two whole months I’ve been blogging) if I was just flinging words that nobody read. I get so dejected, thinking “stupid writer, nobody likes your stuff anyway”…and then (insert heavenly trumpets here) someone comments. Comments are like mocha frappes, they keep me going.

    So yes, I try to comment on other blogs because you never know when just a little recognition of a blogger’s effort could mean the difference in them continuing and walking away.

    And it drives me crazy when I post my blog link on Facebook and get 20 comments about it on Facebook. I’m like, “Don’t comment there, comment on the blog for heaven’s sake.” Although truthfully, I’m just glad to get some feedback.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      How can I not love you when I read this bit: “Comments are like mocha frappes, they keep me going.” There is indeed something almost caffeinated about comments – they really do invigorate. And I am so smiling about the FB thing because I hear you. But, ultimately, you are right – feedback is feedback and it is wonderful. Thanks, Kenja!

  20. I leave a comment on just about anything I’ve actually taken the time to read fully, or mostly. We all follow so many that sometimes it’s hard to read them all (of course, we all have favorites). If I’m going to take the time to read, I’m generally going to comment. Sometimes they are long, full of feeling or adding a thought or question to the mix. And other times, a quick word or two as referenced above. Very occasionally, I don’t leave a comment if I just don’t click at all with the post or it doesn’t add some thought to my day or life…but that’s rarely.

    I love your blog and visit just about every post you write (daily) and never want to overload anyone. Just know that I always have a thought about what you’ve written!

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      I think your approach is a great one – to try to say something on most things you take the time to read unless for some reason the post leaves you flat, or you don’t connect to it. Seems really sensible, actually. And I love the idea of sometimes leaving novel-length comments when the impulse arises and other times leaving just a sprinkle of words. None of us needs to adopt a one-size-fits-all approach to blogging, or commenting – or anything in life, right? Thanks so much for your kind words, Gina! (and I adore the name of your blog!)

  21. Nice post.

    Just kidding. I don’t leave a lot of comments anymore and here’s the honest reason why: I can’t read blogs as much as I used to because Elsie Jane WOW is she a handful. And then when I do, I feel like it’s not fair to leave a comment. Isn’t that strange? It feels like my intentions may be mis-read or that other friends will see my occasional comment somewhere else and wonder why I went away from them. Because I used to comment a lot in a lot of places and now I can’t. So I’m quiet. Mostly. But I’m sporadically around. And I have guilt about it because there are people who are still faithful to commenting on the EO (but so many less than the old days) and then I realize these are MY feelings because of MY insecurities. I’m giving myself a bit too much importance or some such thing. I don’t know…it’ll always be a “thing” methinks, as long as I’m “here”.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Wow do I relate to almost every bit of what you write her. These little creatures? Even when they are goodkiddos (what really does that mean?) they need us, and of course they do, and it is so overwhelming being there for them in a present way and doing anything else at all. I am currently trying to balance the girls and the uber-slow writing of my next book and this blog – AND I love this world and connecting with others and it is SO hard. And the guilt? Yes, yes, yes. Part and parcel of parenthood and life and trying to juggle it all. Will it always be a “thing” for me too? Yup. Always. So thrilled to see you here today. xox

  22. Sue

    I sometimes leave comments and it is the process that can be a tad slow that at times make me rush off. As a newbie blogger (who is working on a new blog) I love comments and have felt real connection with some people that way. Long live the comments πŸ™‚

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Yes, long live comments! I do forget that the process can be super speedy or a bit slow depending on our alacrity (right word?) or even our internet connection. Certainly a relevant concern. Good luck on the new blog, Sue. And, thanks!

  23. AG

    Your blog is the first blog I have ever commented on and the only blog I have commented on more than once. I enjoy reading through the comments and seeing the same names appear. It’s like you have a community here and even though I may never meet you in “real life” (although still holding out for an ADR weekend some day for us to all sit and talk in “real life!”) I feel like I can relate to you and you’ve become a friend/constant in my life through your stories. I have had lunch with you everyday for the past 3 years since I started reading…reading this blog is my lunchtime ritual while I sit by myself at my desk. On some really good days and really bad days I know your posts are always here and I look forward to reading them at lunch all morning.

    I think I don’t comment everyday because I am worried whatever I say won’t come off eloquently and I don’t have the time to write/re-write a comment. But I am getting better about writing it and posting it with less thought and more confidence.

    Also I meant to comment yesterday about your scarf but didn’t…where I live it is 103 right now, I am jealous you can wear fun scarves. I would have a heat stroke if I wore one. But I loved the fashion addition to ADR…hope there are more of them in the future!

    • AG – I love your perspective here because it points straight to the heart of what blogging is about. We trade thoughts and ideas much as we would in real life, and over time we do, in some strange cyber way, come to know each other.

      I find the idea that Aidan has been your lunch date for three years to be really endearing. As a blogger myself I can certainly say that if someone said the same of me, I would take it as the highest compliment. (I feel the same way about Deb Perelman at Smitten Kitchen as you do about ADR!) This is the kind of feedback that makes blogging rewarding. Often we (well, some of us anyway) post and hear crickets. That can be hard. My traffic stats tell me that people are reading, but until someone says something it’s a lot like talking to an empty room.

      I digress. I just wanted to say that I think you poignantly touched on a big reason that many of us blog.

      • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

        Could not agree more, Gale. And I LOVE that you are responding to another commenter. In my ideal world, this would happen each and every day. That would be a real conversation, almost seminar-style.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      I can’t tell you how much this comment means to me. That I have in some way been there with you at your lunch hour for three years is a really really happy thought. And the idea of an ADR weekend? I love that too. I don’t know what it would look like, or if it would realistically ever happen, but it’s certainly fun to imagine and would indeed by blogworthy! I think it takes some time and effort to stop worrying about whether we are being eloquent enough in our comments. I know that I have gotten so much better about this and if I read something that affects me, I just say so and don’t obsess over how I have said it. All easier said than done, I know.

      103? That’s nuts!! I probably wouldn’t break out even a summer scarf in that weather either. And it’s good to know you like the “fashion angle.” I do enjoy this stuff and for whatever reason I’ve never blogged about it much – probably out of some kind of fear of seeming superficial or materialistic – but I am beginning to realize that there are ways of talking about these things that can be fun and interesting.

      Thank you so much, AG. Will not forget this comment πŸ™‚

  24. My comment/no comment protocol is pretty simple. If something resonates with me (positively or negatively) I comment. If it doesn’t, I don’t. That said, I am finding it interesting to read everyone else’s perspective on this “to comment or not to comment” conundrum.

    On my own blog I get few comments, which is sometimes frustrating because I try to write posts that other people will find interesting. Nevertheless, as I’ve always said, I started my blog for myself and work hard to make sure that I don’t let my own enjoyment of blogging be deterred by the presence of lack of response by other people.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      I remember when you started TDT and how excited I was that you were joining the ranks. I adore your blog and your posts are always so articulate and interesting. I do think that we can only last in this world if we really love to blog and if we are, at the end of the day, really doing it for ourselves. That said, I do (as you know) feel that icky frustration when the comments don’t roll in. I never expected this to shape up to be such a fascinating discussion, so needless to say I am pumped. Thanks, you. xox

  25. In a recent interview I was asked about my stance on blog comments, on my own blog and on others. I told myself that I really didn’t care if people commented on my blog, which is a lie I tell myself when there are no comments. The reality is that the comments let me know I’ve reached someone, and I know if I feel it so do others. I try to comment when I can so that other writers will know that they’ve reached me.

    The best part about finding comments on your blog post is realizing they enhance the conversation and often show you a side you might have failed to acknowledge when you were writing.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      You are me. There have been so many times when I’ve gotten just a few comments and I tell myself this fiction that I really don’t care, that it is about flexing the writing muscles, blah, blah. And it is about stringing words together, and processing life in a disciplined daily fashion, but it is ALSO about connecting and conversing and engaging with others. Comments matter. Maybe not to all of us, but if these comments are any indication, they matter to many of us. Look forward to checking out your blog, Angie. Thanks!

  26. I try to leave comments most of the time, but when a blog has 50 comments, I usually don’t. Mostly because I don’t have anything unique to say. I’m also not great about answering comments on my blog in a timely manner. I always get to it–eventually. But 5 kids at home and all that entails makes it difficult to do sometimes. I’m trying to be better.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Such an interesting point to consider. Are we more inclined to leave a comment when there are a ton or just a few? Should this matter? And does unique matter? Or is it about the sentiment, the simple saying that we are there reading? I don’t know. And answering comments? It’s hard to keep up and time consuming to do so. There have been chunks of time when I’ve been really bad about this. I guess all we can do is try, right? Thanks, Erin.

  27. I get giddy when I get comments. There was a time, about two years ago, when I was getting multiple comments on each post. Then my blogging waned a bit and I found the part that I let go of was commenting on other bogs. When the twins were born, I was overwhelmed with motherhood (four kids 5 and under) and I spent all of last summer in the diaper trenches and not writing.

    Now that family life has settled a bit, I’m back to trying to grow my blog again. It isn’t easy, but I know that they best way to do it is to engage in the conversation. Since my blog is like a library (all “shhh! no talking”) right now, I’ve got to go elsewhere to hopefully entice the conversation back to my place by using my charming wit and sensitive listening skills.

    This is my first week on the Yeah Write competition grid (I found a small bit of courage somewhere to join) after two weeks on the hang-out grid. I’ve made it a goal to get to every blog on both boards this week and comment. I can’t wait to keep reading!!

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      I think it is normal and understandable that all of us bloggers will go through phases where we are more or less active in this world – whether by choice, or by necessity. I know that after Little Girl’s arrival, I had a hard time keeping up and I tried to be forgiving about this fact, but it wasn’t always easy. Isn’t Yeah Write fantastic? What’s interesting is that I don’t feel competitive about it AT ALL. I just like the idea of joining forces with other writers who are interested in the community/commenting aspect of blogging. I had never thought of adding my post to the hangout grid as well. Do you think it’s too late?

      Thanks! I am so happy you are doing Yeah Write.

  28. I am like you, I like to leave thoughtful comments with a purpose. But also like you, I have a blog that I invest a lot of my heart, soul and time into and it’s nice to just hear someone say, “I’m here.” So, I’m HERE.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Yes. The “I’m here” comment – even if it’s tiny in size – is sometimes a gem. Thanks, Shannon. Look forward to visiting your site!

  29. AGB

    I often start writing a comment and then get pulled away from my few minutes of “me” time. (That sentence was typed 10 minutes ago! Lol.) But I love you and am here reading!

  30. I just found your site today through YeahWrite! and I am totally hooked. I love your subject matter, your writing style, your honesty, and the way you get your readers to really think (and comment! :). Speaking of comments, I’m a big fan. I just started blogging a month ago (steep learning curve for this newbie! πŸ™‚ and I am a full time Creative Director and mom so I do the best I can to keep up with it all. I do find myself commenting on the blogs I visit the most – when they post something new, I try to comment because I personally love to get feedback, too. I am quite sure I border on stalkerish, but I suppose if I’m driving anyone crazy, they can block me! πŸ™‚

    Thanks for the great post!

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      The word “hooked” is one of my favorites. Then again I am fond of the litany of fishing metaphors. Welcome to the blogging ranks! I remember starting my blog literally like it was yesterday. I found it to be a very exciting but overwhelming time. I am certainly no blogging expert (not sure I even believe in blogging experts), but do feel free to ask me or any of the lovely bloggers here any questions. And bordering on stalkerish? Isn’t this what this world is kind of all about? And isn’t that really strange? I was thinking to myself the other day… Once upon a time, it was not a good thing to be “followed.”

      So happy you found me. Look forward to checking out your site. Again, welcome to this odd but wonderful world, Melisa!

  31. P.S. Whoa! Excuse the smiley overload! I had no idea I put so many in and now they are floating around like little yellow bobble heads.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Adore the smiley overload. I have become quite smitten with the smiley of late. And I think it is only a good thing, right? Now you have me pondering a whole smiley face post. I wonder if there is some meaningful correlation between the use of emoticons and happiness level in life? Hmm. Could be interesting πŸ™‚

  32. Monica

    I know how you feel Aidan, and sometimes I don’t leave comments because the computer is going slow and annoying, so I just read and share on Twitter. I wish I could comment to all your posts, but ultimately time is always a factor. I haven’t written any blog posts in a long time, and I apologize for that, partially the reason why I don’t have very many subscribers, but eh I often times have trouble expressing myself in words. It used to come naturally when I was younger, but now it doesn’t..Thanks for opening my eyes and pointing out this thing about blog comments. πŸ™‚

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Monica, thanks. For taking the time to comment today. I completely respect that time is always a factor for all of us. We are all stretched in a million directions and it really is impossible to do all the things we want to do on any given day. All of this is to say that I so appreciate the comments when they do come. Like this one πŸ™‚

  33. Jessica

    I read your posts everyday and never comment ! This is my first time. Thank you for sharing your life. I will remember to say thank you more often!

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      That this is your first comment means the world! So happy you decided to leave a trail of words today. I love sharing my life. More than I would have ever imagined. And a big part of that is days like today when there is a real and wonderful conversation taking place. Thanks so much, Jessica!

  34. I comment when I have something to say and I love it when people leave comments on my blog. It means a lot that they take the time to say something, even if it’s just a few words. I admit that the more comments I see, the less likely I am to make a comment like, “Nice post.” I figure the author has received enough validation if there are 50 comments and my two words won’t mean much. But, I would still appreciate those two words, so maybe I’m wrong.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      I don’t know how much quantity matters… There are days when I get a lot of comments (today!) and days when they trickle in, and I must say, that each comment means a lot even if it is a small note. I could be alone in thinking this way, but maybe not? Again, it is all about being heard and reaching people and connecting… Thanks for these words, Karen.

  35. I wasn’t much of a commenter until I joined yeah write last week. I kind of felt like, if I can’t say anything beyond “nice post,” is it worth commenting? But it is. I know I appreciate it when people comment, so why shouldn’t I do the same? Thanks for putting that into words.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      I am realizing again and again how wonderful Yeah Write and other linkups can be. We really are a self-selecting group of writers who are still keenly interested in community and commenting. Anyway, so happy you made your way here and that you feel the way I do about comments. It is clear as day that so many of us do. Look forward to checking out your bloggy digs, Jacqueline!

  36. PortlandMomma

    I read lots of blogs but I’ve only ever commented on yours. Not sure exactly why. You’re especially thought-provoking and inviting πŸ™‚

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Thank you so much. Thought-provoking and inviting are two things I very much aspire to be here, so this means a lot!

  37. I tend to leave shorter comments that aren’t so great sometimes. And it’s because I don’t really have anything to SAY (maybe its a topic I can’t relate to or something), but I want to let the blogger know like, “hey, i took the time to read this and appreciate that you wrote it.”

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      This is a good approach, I think. I think you are one step ahead of me; why did it just recently occur to me that it is good to leave a comment even if that comment isn’t “great”? Thanks, Mayor πŸ™‚

  38. To answer a question asked earlier in the thread, I am more likely to comment the fewer comments on the post. Where there are 100 comments already, I’m sure the blogger has been emotionally satisfied, and I can go find someone else who needs some love.

    However, since your post was about comments, how could I resist leaving one?

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      So thrilled to see you here, Erica. I can’t say enough good things about Yeah Write. I really feel like it has helped me get my blogging mojo back after dragging for a bit. And I am so pumped to be meeting so many wonderful writers. So thank you!

  39. I rarely leave comments & I am trying to get better at it, because I absolutely love when I get one. However, especially when reading Yeah Write wonderful posts, I may skip a comment because it is so well written & I feel like whatever I write in a comment comes out as: Me. Like. Blog Good.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      LOL indeed. I know what you are saying. It’s sometimes hard to feel like we can say anything of intelligence to add to the commentary that’s already there. I can’t speak for all bloggers, but I imagine that most bloggers probably like even the dud-like comments we feel we leave. Thanks, Laurel!

  40. I was never a blogger comment leaver until I became a blogger. And now I realize they are like gold.

  41. I almost always comment on posts that I read. I like to let the author know that I have been by. Sometimes I come up with something really thoughtful or clever and sometimes I don’t.

    I don’t spend much time worrying about it.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Love your no-nonsense approach, Jack. And that you don’t really waste time worrying about this to-comment-or-not-to-comment thing. I am wondering whether the guilt and overthinking of this is somehow a female thing? I don’t know but certainly interesting to think about. Thank you. And loved your Yeah Write post by the way. Really good stuff. Thanks!

  42. Nancy Gillard

    I have been following over 100 blogs a day for several years now and rarely leave a comment (and I do mean rarely). After reading your post I will change my ways. I just didn’t think it mattered whether or not I responded but I guess it does. Thanks for the reminder that people just want to be acknowledged for their efforts. Duh!

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      I am so impressed that you follow over 100 blogs a day! That’s major. I’d be curious to know how your blog-reading experience changes, or feels different, once you start leaving some comments. Do let me know. Thanks, Nancy!

  43. Mel

    I always try to comment. I know that I like to hear that someone has been there reading, no matter how small, like you said. Great post!

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Thank you, Mel. Am realizing that many of you had this little “epiphany” well before I did; that you’ve known all along that it is nice to leave a sprinkling of words to remind the writer that her words are being read. I guess it’s better to realize this later than never. Look forward to checking out your site!

  44. Paige

    A day late, on vacay…..but your blog is the ONLY one I read daily. Unless on vacay! :-). Love it, I love hearing about NYC living, little girls and life!

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Thank you, Paige! So happy to hear that. That mine is the only blog you read is a big-time compliment πŸ™‚

  45. Not only do I leave comments, but I reply to all comments on my blog. If someone was moved enough to speak to me, I will not ignore them.

    Thank you for the reminder that micro comments are just as valid. Sometimes I can’t think of a witty or thoughtful comment, like now for instance…

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      I am so impressed with your dedication, Bill. I believe, and deeply, that it is right to respond to people when they take the time to comment and I have vowed (privately and publicly) to do this before, but somehow life intervenes and I do not follow through. I do hope that this time is different, and that, at a minimum, I respond to most of my comments. Love the name of your blog – that’s one of my foremost goals – to live authentically. Thanks!

  46. I read so many blogs daily, I love to peak into people’s lives but I rarely comment. I have no real reason why, perhaps I feel like the words I write are empty or the author doesn’t need me to validate their words…. I think it has just been such a passive activity for so long now it is difficult to break the habit, or perhaps I am just shy πŸ™‚

    This post has certainly made me think so I am going to aim to be more active in the comments sections of my favourite blogs.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      I think when we make blogging and blog-reading less passive it becomes a lot more fun and interesting, too. I remind myself that blogging and reading blogs is not just about writing and reading, but about transcending geographical and other limits and connecting. It’s really cool if you think about how many of us are interacting in this “world” who would never have occasion to interact in the physical world. Thanks so much, Carly!

  47. Morgan Bloomfield

    Hey, I’m here reading, all of your posts & yes, I am one of those who do not comment frequently yet enjoy your words immensely. Thank you for your words.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      And thank you for this comment, Morgan. It does mean so much to know that there are people out there reading, loyally returning to glimpse my words and my life.

  48. caroline

    I love reading your blog. It’s amazing that you update every day, and nice knowing that when I come here, there is always a new post. As a fellow (wannabe) writer, mother and UWS-er, I totally relate. Keep it going!

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Thanks, Caroline! So fun to get a comment from a fellow UWS-er. Sounds like our lives are – at least superficially – quite similar. We should trade mommying/writing/westsiding notes sometime.

  49. It just seems wrong not to comment on a post about why should comment. πŸ™‚

    I like the idea of just stopping in to say that you read and enjoyed. I often like a post but don’t necessarily have anything to say about it that I feel is worthwhile. But it is true that I would appreciate if someone just commented that they enjoyed my post. I should do the same!

    One time that I almost never comment is if there are already a host of comments. I don’t want to re-say something that has already been said, but I don’t have time to read what everyone else has said. So unless I have something really important to say in response, I just skip it. More blogs need a “like” button like on Facebook!

    Thanks for writing this. It definitely made me think!

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Thanks for leaving a comment on my comment post, Lucas πŸ™‚ Everyone should know that I do in fact have a Facebook Like button at the bottom of each post under “Share.” An easy-peasy option. But, yes, I think it is great for us all to realize that we write for a reason – to be read, and heard, and seen. Maybe we should all start something of a micro-comment revolution!

  50. I love getting comments, but also responses on Twitter or Facebook. Just to know people read it πŸ™‚ The best thing about the Yeah, Write community is that people are so supportive of reading and responding to other writers.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Yes. As I have said over and over in this conversation, I have fallen in love with Yeah Write. What a wonderful and wonderfully supportive community of writers and thinkers. Thanks, Cindy!

  51. I try to comment, but I read so many blogs, I couldn’t possibly comment on all, but I do try; even if it’s short. I have given up on the ones with word verification. I can never get it right and it is so frustrating (especially after composing a long comment!).

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      I hear you re: the Captcha commenting systems. I try not to let this dissuade me from commenting, but it can be annoying. You are right that it is simply not possible to ALWAYS comment on EVERY post we read and enjoy, but I think (for me) this is more about an attitude change, a paradigm shift, about stepping back and realizing that other bloggers have many of the same motivations and emotions as I do… Thanks, Emma!

  52. Eliza

    Another frequent reader, fIrst-time commenter here. I love your blog, but I usually read blog posts either when I wake up but am not ready to get up yet, or at night before I go to sleep. Both, for me, are times when my brain is not functioning coherently. Consequently, I do appreciate your blog and the thoughts/energy you put into it, but I am usually not in a mental place to leave a comment – either trying to drag myself to the coffee pot or wind down before sleep. I wish the bloggy world had a “like” button like Facebook so readers like me can let you know that we are here, reading, enjoying, and appreciating – even though just leaving a short comment seems like SO much work at the time! πŸ™‚

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      I TOTALLY get this. There are times when my mind is mush and I can read, but that’s about it. Wouldn’t it be cool if we could just speak to the screen and say, “I like this.” Maybe I should invent that? πŸ™‚ Thank you so much for reading and for leaving this comment today, Eliza! πŸ™‚

  53. if i read it, i leave a comment. why? because i love every single one that is left for me. these comments make me feel less like i am throwing my words out there and no one cares πŸ™‚ ha. i know it’s not like that, but always feels nice to know your words have found eyes and hearts? way better!

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Yes. It is really simple, isn’t it? If we adore these comments, these signs that we are being heard, doesn’t it make sense that others’ love these things too? I do think that life gets in the way sometimes (okay, often) and makes it tricky to follow through on things we care about, but it is definitely worth the effort. Eyes and hearts? That’s what it’s all about, Tara. Thank you πŸ™‚

  54. I am here and your posts are always nice. Even if a post goes by without a comment from me, you can count on the fact that I did read it.

  55. I agree with you. I enjoy knowing someone was at my place, even if just to say hi. I love a thoughtful comment, but I love a quick – I read this! – just as much. Especially on a non-Yeah Write post when I don’t get nearly as many comments. I also like the comment responses and I like giving them even if it takes me a little while. I feel that then we all know that the comments matter. But that’s just my opinion. I know some people just don’t have the time and I appreciate the reads too.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Yes, I think you are write that a range of comments are great – from tiny to thoughtful. And it is important to respect that we will always have readers, and loyal ones too, who will just not comment. Thanks so much, Michelle!

  56. here is me, commenting! i love comments. maybe it’s blogging narcissism, maybe I’m lonely, maybe i need to get out more, but I love to comment & be commented upon. it’s the conversations that fascinate me – to think that i’m “talking” to someone on the other side of the world, or in the next building…I’m not a fan of the commenting quid pro quo – you comment, I comment, tag you’re it… but then again, it’s when people comment & leave their blog name in the comment that I discover all kinds of writers (HELLO YOU) who I might not otherwise have found.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      First of all, I love your blog. And that vagina post? Seriously genius. Anyway, yes. I get it. All of it. I love the comments, the conversations that unfold. I often do wonder why we gravitate to blogging in the first place… Is it that we are lonely or missing something in our “real life?” Or is it rather that we have a keen and abiding interest in forging relationships, in hearing stories, in chatting about self and cosmos. I choose to believe the latter of course. Thanks, Deborah!

  57. I’ve heard a lot of talk about the whole comment thing being obsolete. I totally disagree. I think commenting is important, even if it’s just a line like you said. The only thing I hate is the comment that leaves a link and it’s obvious they did not read the post.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Yeah – those comments where there is a bit of link baiting are no good. Every now and then, I will read a post and it will remind me SO MUCH of a question I have asked or a post I have written and I will include a link to the post, but that’s it. And you can tell usually when someone has read your words, right? I am so happy to know that there are so many others out there who are not willing to give up on comments! Thanks, Adrienne!

  58. Thank you for saying this in print! It’s difficult not to feel completely vain and narcissistic for wanting comments, but you nailed it. It’s knowing people are out there. This rocks.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      I am so happy I said it, that I put it in print as you say because look at this response. Clearly, I am tapping into something so many of us are thinking and feeling. I suppose there is some vanity and narcissism in wanting people to respond to us, but I think on many levels this is just a matter of being human. We all want to be seen, to be appreciated, to be validated for our efforts – literary or otherwise. Thank you so much for this πŸ™‚

  59. First, I must say, I love your blog. I am here often and do not always announce my presence. Why? You have some powerful, thought-provoking stuff that I sometimes need to chew on for a while. Maybe I’ll just start leaving you comments that state, “chewing.” πŸ™‚ Hopefully you’ll remember what I mean.

    Secondly, the comments I receive at Sperk* keep me going. Yes, they lift me up, but more so, I so totally dig the conversation and that sometimes readers will share little bits of their own stories. It is within these interactions that life flows…for me, anyway.

    Thirdly, sometimes if I come across something I do not agree with, I just back away quietly. I think I got that from Erica at YeahWrite. Great advice. I once tried to comment on a situation in which I disagreed and it turned into a train wreck.

    Fourthly…well, I’m still chewing.

    Great post.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      I like this. That my posts are often the type that require chewing. That’s a big compliment as I am a big fan of chewing myself. And this makes sense to me that if someone has a more profound response to something and they want to sit with it, it feels “off” to write a simple, sunny micro-comment. I guess the main point here is that we should all perhaps err on the side of saying something, even if it is small, because the reality is that we all crave the support and affirmation ourselves. So so interesting about commenting when we do not agree… I think this is definitely a time when things get spicy and fun, but it can also be a grand old mess.

      Thanks so much, Sperk. And for including me in that blog award not long ago. I am terrible that I haven’t thanked you or followed up yet. Alas.


      PS – I so love your blog and am grateful that Yeah Write led me to it, and you!

  60. Leslie

    I don’t often leave comments, especially if there are already a lot of comments because I either don’t have time to read them all and don’t want to say something that’s already been said, or, I did read them all and feel I don’t have anything to add to the conversation. But I think you are right – sometimes a simple “Thank you for sharing” or similar to let the author know they’re being heard is all that’s required. I’m trying to be better about leaving comments.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      It’s interesting but I don’t really think much of it if there is overlap in comments, you know? I don’t necessarily expect people to read through all the replies and come up with something novel to say. I agree that a simple thank you is great. Thanks, Leslie!

  61. Jacqueline

    Am I too late to comment on this? Hope not! Like AG, this blog is my daily “date”- for me it is either breakfast during the leisurely summer months or my first moment of planning time during the school year. I feel somewhat guilty that I take away so much more than what I contribute to this. You may thank us for your comments, but I will always thank you for your words, your perspective, your ability to “verbalize” what I have wanted to say for years! Thank you!

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Never too late!! I just love to hear that this blog is your daily “date.” That means the world – and motivates me to keep going, to keep “verbalizing!” Thanks so much, Jacqueline!

  62. A lot of the time I don’t comment because I just don’t have the time to when I happened to read the post. I start out my morning reading blogs, and often there’s time to read but not time to sit down and give the comments they deserve… I star the stuff that I want to go back to, but I don’t always make it back.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Oh, I know that drill. I star things, I put them into lists, I do many things to try to get myself together, but it doesn’t always help. I totally respect that people often don’t have the time to comment; I have felt this before and get it. I guess my point was limited in nature, namely that if we are reading and CAN take that extra minute to leave even a few words, that the author will appreciate it.

  63. You said, “If we don’t like a post, we shouldn’t respond.” I sort of disagree. I think there are constructive ways, even helpful ways, to disagree with a post in a comment. In fact, sometimes I learn the most when someone doesn’t like my post and respectfully explains why. Then again, I know far too many bloggers who only want the positive comments … so, I get why maybe it’s best to leave those sorts of posts alone.

    Personally, I have blogs split into categories. The blogs I read regularly? I try to comment, even if it’s a short one, because I feel a real connection to the bloggers. Other blogs, where I might only be new to the blog and trying to figure out whether I want to stick around? Those blogs I tend not to comment unless the post really moves me to say something insightful.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      I like how you group blogs – I’m sure that is very helpful. I should do something like that… I should have phrased by what I said differently. I agree that if we don’t like a post, or disagree with something the author says, we should go ahead and leave a comment to that effect if so inclined. What I meant is more that if we are left flat by a post, or not moved to say anything, we shouldn’t just for the sake of leaving a comment. If we are affected – positively or negatively – a comment, even if short, is appreciated, I think.

      I am not a blogger who only wants positive comments. I want real comments, honest ones. Yes, it’s nice when they are positive in nature, but I am equally intrigued by the comments that challenge me in a diplomatic fashion, and also by the downright mean ones (though those are tough because my skin isn’t super-thick…)

      Thanks, Nilsa!

  64. my friends who read my blog don’t leave comments but whenever i see them they tell me “hey, i liked your post last week” or text me or something which is really nice because first of all i was blogging for my friends and family. sometimes other people visit my blog and i really like if they tell me how they liked it because by now blogging has become an interaction for me as well. unfortunately they don’t do it too much so i really see what you mean. liked this!

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Thanks, Jenny! Yes, with a few happy exceptions, most of my friends and family do not leave comments here. But they do often mention a post in conversation or in an email. This is wonderful too. I really just love to know that people are reading and that my words are having some kind of impact, you know?

  65. Pingback: Inspiration for your weekend « A Beautiful Ripple Effect

  66. Jess

    I’m here, catching up on old posts. I read them in chunks when I can so always feel like my comments are dated! That said, love the “rememberer” comment, so profound and sweet! And screenwriting class, can’t wait to hear about it. Miss you and always love your posts, whether I comment or not! xo

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Oh, Jess, I am just so happy you are reading. It means so much. You are one of a handful of my “real life friends” who leaves comments and I can’t tell you how much I love it. Feel like it shrinks the distance, you know? How are your sweet creatures? So enjoy seeing the delicious pictures you send. xoxo

  67. Love this post!!! Could not agree more!

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Thanks, Annie! Glad you are on board with the power of the micro-comment. So fun to have you here… I think you got here via Carolyn… Anyway, I love her blog and am prepared to love yours. I feel like there is this whole hidden world of gorgeous blogs I’m just beginning to tap into. Love it.

  68. VickiB

    I don’t comment on every blog post I read but I do often leave a word or two; I have only one short-lived now-abandoned blog on which I got zero comments (that is not why I quit blogging, though) and it would have meant a lot to me if anyone had commented. Sometimes I make a comment on a blog post and then someone comments on my comment and that feels good.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Thank you for this comment then! Would be so interested to know why you abandoned your blog… I have thought about stopping at points and I know so many bloggers who have stopped and I guess I am curious to know the thoughts behind these decisions. Anyway, I am just one of those creatures who is thirsty for stories so let me know if you are willing to share. Happy to see you here, VickiB!

  69. “I am here.”

    This is perfect.

  70. Pingback: This is the stuff I find interesting

  71. I am new to your site. I am a blogger. I do leave comments because I feel it is like good karma. I want people to comment on my page so I comment on others. I was brought here by Rubensteins linking of Inspiration for your weekend.

    I will be back for more. πŸ™‚

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Welcome, Trisha. So happy you made your way here via Carolyn’s weekend inspirations. I am so happy that my post resonated with you and am thrilled to encounter another blogger in the ether. Please do come back πŸ™‚

  72. Pingback: Inspiration for your weekend β€” Carolyn Rubenstein

  73. Jodie

    I never comment… but I’m just finding your blog now and it’s a new addiction. 11 months after the original post and you still have readers πŸ™‚

  74. Have you ever considered about adding a little bit more than just your articles?
    I mean, what you say is important and everything. However imagine if you added
    some great graphics or videos to give your posts more, “pop”!
    Your content is excellent but with images and video clips, this site could
    definitely be one of the best in its niche.
    Terrific blog!

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