I am so happy they pick up the worms and play with the ants. That they aren’t scared of the critters that abound out back. They are far less squeamish than I am and this makes me happy because it’s one of my biggest concerns about raising them here in New York City.
Will they be exposed enough to nature? I wonder this. And it matters to me. I grew up here and love that I grew up here, but my parents whisked me away on weekends to the lush green of the Berkshires, in summers to the waters of Wisconsin, at Thanksgiving-time to the marshes of South Carolina.
And it’s not just about them. What about me? What is this city life doing to me? Who will they become without a ton of nature? Who will I become without the same?
Do you live in the city, the suburbs, or “the country”? Are you and your family frequently in communion with the natural world? Do you ever think about, or worry about, the effects of your surroundings?
I am a country girl living in the suburbs right now. And I hate it. I actually think I preferred living in the city more, although I did have a hard time breathing without a little bit of elbow room in my home. It is too easy for me to get stupefied here in the suburbs. I don’t think it’s necessarily a fault of the ‘burbs themselves, but I grew up with farms and fields and hills and rivers all out my back door. So, so much room to breathe and explore and grow freely. It’s not for everybody, but it’s in my blood and bones, and hard not to miss (although I DO like not having to drive for twenty minutes just to start getting anywhere, I confess).
We spend a lot of time at the grandparents’ houses so that our girls can experience the country life, too. They love watching the neighbors’ cows at Oma and Grandpa’s, and exploring the woods and checking out the beaver pond at Grandma’s. I’m already teaching them the difference between holsteins and jerseys!
So interesting. Now I’m wondering if this is a bit of a grass is greener thing? Whether it is natural on some level for us to wonder what we are missing, or to long for what we once had? So good that your kiddos are exposed to those cows, that life
I have the opposite worry, we live in the country and I am afraid that little guy will not get enough exposure to the city way of life. I grew up in rural Appalachia and disliked the big city (I felt like I was suffocating from all the people and noise) until college when I fell in love with London while doing study abroad in Europe. We try to expose our son to a diverse array of places, cultures, and people via travel and I hope that he picks up some big city street smarts and attitude to go along with the easy going outdoor country environment he is being cultivated. Will a “woodsy” summer camp be in the girls future? Sounds like they would love it!
The reality is that we must choose. We must pick a place to live. And maye all we can do is be thoughtful about creating the best life in that place and also be thoughtful about exposing our kids and ourselves to other worlds, too. Maybe if we are so negative about where we are s should think about moving, but short of that maybe it’s all about opening our eyes – and theirs – and continuing to ask questions. Love the idea of a woodsy summer camp for the girls. Just as long as it doesn’t take them away from me for too long! Thanks, Amanda!
I was raised in Pittsburgh, which is a unique city/suburb hybrid and, in my opinion, the ideal place to have a family. For the past seven years, Manhattan has been my home, and I have loved living here, which came as a surprise to me. The noise, the crowds, the unapologetic pace, all helped me grow up. In a very real way, the city made me into the person that I am now. A person I like, and a person I am proud to be. I will forever be grateful to Manhattan.
But this fall, my husband and I are moving to our brand new house in the suburbs of NYC. And while I am so excited for our next step (and our new house!), and know without any doubt that this is a very good move for us, I feel a little pang at the thought of leaving the city behind.
How can you not have a pang leaving this magical place?? Yes, I am a tiny bit biased. I am sure you will love your new home and there is something so wonderful about a fresh start, right? And just think: You will have so many fun city stories to tell your new suburban buds. xox
Although I’ve lived in cities for much of my life, I was fortunate to have a semi-rural upbringing. We lived on a huge piece of land, our roads were not paved and we spent every moment we could outdoors. We climbed trees, rode our bikes in the dirt, swam and built rafts, swings, slides, forts and tree houses at the local waterhole. We made bows and arrows from local vegetation and we knew every part of a plant that was edible – especially the fruit from the neighbors’ fruit trees!! We also knew the plants that gave stings or scratches and how to avoid/treat them. Bugs were the least of our worries and we were always on the lookout for the more dangerous snakes and scorpions. Lizards, and occasionally snakes, made their way indoors and we were thrilled by large spiders and their intricate webs, rather than frightened by them. I sometimes see youngsters who get mildly hysterical if a fly comes anywhere near them and I am grateful for knowing how to be near nature and in the great outdoors.
As an adult, my family and I have done extreme camping in wilderness areas, where we travel in 4×4 vehicles – and I mean the type required for rough, offroad travel – not the type people have to take them to the local mall (!!) We take every piece of firewood needed, as well as every litre of water – for drinking, washing and cooking. When you get to a campsite there is nothing – just dirt and rocks – so you have to take everything with you – and I mean everything. We do not have anything as fancy as a portable toilet, so one takes the shovel, walks a long way away from the campsite and digs a hole! (burning paper and matchstick afterwards!)We also do not take along a bush shower i.e. a bag that can be strung up from a tree – as we just cannot carry the volume of water required from showers – so washing is a somewhat limited activity. Yes, you get dirty. But it is good, honest mother Earth dirt. You absolutely do not worry about what you look like, check to see if your hairdo is still in place or even think of applying anything other than moisturiser and lots of sunscreen (all of which is very ‘freeing’).
And why do we do this? It is difficult to describe the feelings engendered by living that close to nature. An amazing calm and peace seems to envelope you and you relax in a way not possible when ‘in civilization’. You come to feel very ‘centered’ – very close to your ‘core’ – you leave everything about ‘modern living’ far, far behind. The absolute quiet and solitude are just amazing and it seems to bring an extraordinary calm to one’s soul. It really has to be experienced to be understood. I always say that I’d like to give every high school student this experience – a week in the wilderness – just to know what it is like.
I can’t say I necessarily worry about the effects of my surroundings – but being ‘in nature’ is very important to me. Recently, I’ve ‘taken to the mountains’ – for eight days in February – we did nothing other than eat, sleep, hike the trails and go cross-country skiing. In August we head back again for two weeks of walking, swimming in pristine lakes, eating, sleeping, chatting, reading…..
If you have kids, I’d say get them out there if you can, doing stuff in the great outdoors. It builds self-confidence, diminishes fears and phobias, and is like a magic elixir for one’s soul !
I know that these experiences have given me the confidence to ride horses, ice skate, play tennis and golf, snow ski and water ski, snorkel and scuba dive, go walking and hiking….. all of which have brought added richness to my life. But how many people avoid doing these things for fear of not knowing how? Not having the confidence to try? Due to being in unfamiliar surroundings?
Wow! After having written all of this, I feel really, really fortunate to have had the life that I’ve had. Funny how we can take so much for granted, so thanks for making me think about this a bit, Aidan!
Wow. Such an inspiring comment. Reading this, I am reminded of so many of my parents’ values, why they were insistent upon whisking us away on fishing vacations and pack trips. I want this closeness to nature for my girls, and for myself too. Now I need to just make sure to make it happen.
Tessa – thank you for taking the time to write this. And, yes, your upbringing sounds wonderful, if somewhat foreign to this city creature
I think it’s important to remember that there are risks in this realm wherever you live. It’s easy to live in the burbs and never see a lawn that isn’t manicured and a flower that wasn’t planted. And, to Amanda’s point, growing up in an urban environment and feeling comfortable navigating large cities is an asset of its own.
You may not live on an acre lot, but having Central Park as a stand-in for a back yard is nothing to sneeze at!
Yes, thanks for this perspective, Gale. There is no real winning when it comes to these things, is there? I think the best we can do is try to be aware of the costs and benefits of the decisions we make – about geography and all else – and continue to ask ourselves the important questions.
And Central Park is not bad. Not bad at all.
Oh, how I love the outdoors. We live in the city, but we are a couple blocks away from a 40-acre park (amazing for the little person and the pooch!). We are a 15-minute walk from a great splash park and pool. And we are a 20-minute walk from another wonderful park that hosts outdoor concerts every week of the summer. We love this part of the city. But, we also look forward to checking out of our urban life. We go camping in the summers (and plan to introduce our 20-month old to it next week!) and we try to spend a couple weeks at my parents beach house on the Cape, which is nestled in the woods. You’re making me so excited for our trip next month!
It seems like you have struck an enviable balance between city and nature. I do feel that if we choose to live an urban life, it is important to “check out” from time to time, as you say. I need to make sure Husband and I find a way to do this. What scares me some is that we are both so “busy” (yes, that dreaded word) and it’s so much easier to stay put and settled in our city home… Have a fun trip next month! Thanks, Nilsa.
Yesterday I had a wisdom tooth extracted so I was not able to read much less comment, but YES in fact I do believe the environment has somewhat partial to do how we behave, the other partial is genetics. I have lived in the a small town since I was born, explains why I like the idea of comfort. I have travelled to a big city to visit my relatives with my sister, we stayed 2 weeks, and over there they are so used to living a very fast pace life.
I love visiting NYC but always long to get back to my smaller city near the woods where I can properly unplug from so many other humans.