For the first two weeks of August, there was no camp and no school and I had my girls to myself. I took this opportunity to sign the big girls up for semi-private swim lessons at a nearby pool.
It was when I was sitting on the side of that pool, and looking around, that I had a bit of an epiphany.
Depth varies.
I saw these words, and I smiled. Over and over, they repeated themselves in my head: Depth varies. Depth varies. Depth varies.
The words, written in tiles by the side of the pool, referred to the depth of the water of course. But my trusty mind made that metaphorical leap and I found myself adopting this pair of words, and swiftly too, as something of a mantra. Because I have shallow waters and I have deep waters. I have both. I am both.
In the course of one week, I write a post on loss, on making play dates, on the importance of Date Night. In the course of one day, I ponder existential biggies, and watch the Real Housewives duke it out.
I am shallow. I am deep. I am both.
And, oddly, I am okay with this. Proud of it even.
Depth varies.
Words. Wisdom. A future memoir on the redemptive power of embracing one’s inner contradictions?
Are you shallow or deep or both like I am? Does it seem possible to you that someone can really embody such a variance in existential depth? What more “shallow” things do you do/read/enjoy? What more “deep” ones? Ultimately, do you think this is yet another false dichotomy? Oh, and am I the only one who plans a dozen future books at a time?
Giggling because this is precisely the kind of metaphorical leap I take, daily. I don’t really think about people as deep or shallow – in fact I generally think we’re all some of each, shuttling back and forth along a continuum depending on the day, mood, and circumstances. You know? xox
I think the very best people are a combination of shallow-ends and depth. I find people who are always swimming in the deep end to be boring or depressing or both. And people who always stick to the shallow end are often flighty and a bit cowardly (too scare to explore some of the deeper stuff or maybe just disinterested). I’m definitely a combination of both … and try to surround myself with people of a similar combination.
Anyone who says they aren’t both is lying. Deep souls splash around in the shallow end from time to time. And even the shallowest of people contemplate matters of substance from time to time, even if they don’t enjoy it.
As for me, my shallow loves include gossip magazines while on the elliptical machine and following the fashions of Kate Middleton. At my deep end you will find significant questions about my faith and purpose in life, as well as an intense need to do good in the world and an abiding love for my family. (How’s that for contrast?!)
I’m proud to be shallow. I’ve got a drawer full of diploma’s to prove that I’m over educated. If you google my name you’ll see that I’m committed to ending hunger in NYC. My weekends are devoted to feeding the homeless and caring for the sick. So, one could assume that I’m deep. However, I still subscribe to every fasion magazine under the sun. I wear high heels everywhere but the shower. And I will never give up my quest for the perfect red lipstick.
I don’t see any contradictions in being both deep and shallow. No need to be one or the other.