When you step away, when you stand back, you see. You see the thing in which you were, and are, immersed. You see the shapes, the sizes, the shadows. You see the color, the lines, the limits. You see the scenery, the sunsets, the stars. And you see the characters, the creatures.
Most powerfully though, you see yourself.
You see who you were, who you are, who you will be maybe. You see that you were, are, a busy and buzzing blur, tethered wonderfully, and woefully at times, to buttons and babies and books real and imagined. You see that you were, are, at times, too focused, too frenzied, too fearful.
When you see, not perfectly, never perfectly but better, you can envision change and change is a beautiful and beastly thing, big and brooding, scary and sublime in any iteration, but empowering too. When you see yourself, even a little, you can also see the things in your days and in your dreams that matter, the things you want, and deeply, and those you don’t want even though you thought you did. You see the life and love that are worth working for.
Wow. A month away from this place I so love. And it has been a good month, a beautiful month, a hard month. Good because it has been full of more family, more freedom. Beautiful because it has been stuffed with sunshine and scenery and a swirl of sweet, sweaty little girls. Hard because it has been full of more family, more freedom, and stuffed with sunshine, scenery, sweet, sweaty little girls.
Yes, good. Yes, beautiful. Yes, hard.
I’m noticing a theme: the best things in life, the very best and most beautiful things in life, are by definition not easy.
The truth: I am so happy to be back here, to this place I come to think and tell, to question and create. I’ve really missed this space, and you guys. I know that sounds odd as I don’t actually *know* many of you. Or maybe it doesn’t sound odd at all; that I miss the people, known or unknown or somewhere in between, who read my words, who listen to my worries, who understand me a bit, just a bit.
More truth: I’m feeling that familiar sense of paralysis that comes when there is just too much to say. I have endless stories to share. Endless pictures to post. Endless realizations to reveal. This breed of paralysis? It is not easy, but it is a privilege.
But for now, as I unpack bags, separate light and dark (oh the metaphor), and settle back in, I will keep it simple: I’m happy to be home from our exquisite and often hilarious family travels. I’m happy to be home from my much-needed and enriching trip to the Land of Admittedly Imperfect Unpluggedness.
Thanks to all of you for allowing me to step away, to stand back, to see. The good news is that I am here again, bursting with insights and insecurities, ready to take this month of September by storm!
How was your August? Tell me something fun! Do you agree that when you stand back you can see, albeit imperfectly? Do you agree that the best and most beautiful things in life are not easy? **Leave a comment before 11pm EST for a chance to win a copy of my friend and bestselling author Gretchen Rubin‘s delightful book HAPPIER AT HOME which hits shelves today!!**