This morning. Circa 7:40am. It was time to get the big girls out the door and head to school. And Little Girl stood next to us by the front door and cried. “Bye bye too! Bye bye too!” she crooned. It was not the morning to take her. I had to make it to the East Side and back and then pop by my physician’s office for a quick vaccine (turns out my childhood immunity to mumps has lapsed and it was time for a booster). Anyway, it would be far from easy to bring the baby. But I looked down at her, her pleading blue eyes, and I decided. She would come with us.
And it was not easy. At all. But it was wonderful. We ran around the city, dropping sisters at school, hopping in and out of taxis, chasing each other down sidewalks. The wind was brutal and there were cold cheeks and fingers, and plenty of tears and lollipop bribes, but we made it everywhere we needed to go and then home again. The best part is that this little girl and I had time together, time in transit, crazy time, but time. That means something. A lot, I think.
My morning was much harder than it needed to be, but it was also much better. Easy should not always be the goal. I hope to remember this.
♣
Do you find yourself making decisions based on easy and hard? Do you agree than easy is not always best?
I’ve recently realized that the more often you do the things that are not easy (especially when it comes to children), the easier they become.
I hadn’t thought of it like this, but I think you are right… I have friends who travel all the time with their young kids – domestically, internationally, everywhere. And they say their kids are champion travelers and that it’s pretty easy. Well, traveling with our kiddos – particularly the babe – is not easy. At all. It’s a nightmare candy-infested wrestling match 99% of the time. But now I am thinking it might be because we avoid traveling and haven’t gotten the poor babe used to it… Also, the people whose kids will sit at a restaurant for a meal for over an hour. It’s probably because they insist on doing this and the kids adapt.
Wow. Thanks for making me think about this, Joanna!
Such a great reminder!
Thank you, Sara!
I think we’ve had the same attitude you expressed in this blog since our son was born. We take him with us as many places as we possibly can. A lot of times, it would be easier to leave him at home. But, not only is it important that we all spend time together; it’s also important that our son experiences the city into which he was born.
I think it is wonderful that you have chosen to include your son in these outings. I know that I will not do this all the time, but I want to do it more often. I guess I think that so often in life we are inclined to choose the option that is easiest/most efficient/most prudent when the alternatives, while messier, are often the most rewarding. And I love what you have to say about your son experiencing your city, his city… I love the idea of my girls out and about in this city where I was born and raised, living their stories on the concrete on which I once skipped as a girl.
Aidan, thank you for posting this – I needed to read it today!
Thanks, you. Stay tuned for a baby name post. My friend is expecting a baby girl in May and wants our help
Yes, yes, yes! Easy is not best. I know the feeling well with my own. More significantly, I remembered the feeling about being out and about with my dad – just doing chores, life really. Just spending the time with each other was so special.
Oh, I love this. That you have your own memories of running around with your dad. I love the idea that my girls will have fun memories of everyday adventures. Thank you, Cathy.
This is my favorite post of yours.
Wow. That means a lot. It’s interesting because it was a post that wrote itself, something I just needed to say, and wanted to remember. Thanks, Elizabeth.
My sweet stepson used to have the same bumble bee backpack, and seeing it on your little girl made me smile
I was stuck on a VERY crowded bus with my 2 year old last year for about 90 minutes in traffic. She was on my lap and it was crazy trying to keep her occupied for so long, especially because my phone was near dead and I didn’t want to use it for entertainment, but I also felt good about it afterwards. My attention was on nowhere but the most precious thing in my life.
I love the backpack. She wanted to wear it because her big sisters were wearing theirs. She wore it to both schools, doing a practice run for preschool next year. She was so proud to be that big girl with the ponytail and backpack and certainly elicited a few smiles. I love the image of you with your girl on the bus. I have had moments like that. Recently, Big Girl and I were stuck in a taxi behind a garbage truck for the longest time. I found myself getting SO frustrated but then I looked over and there she was and I just sunk into that extra time with her, or tried to at least.
All of this also reminds me of Hurricane Sandy which might have been my kids’ favorite week ever. We were all stuck at home in our pajamas with nowhere to go. There was something magical about this.
Yes, yes, yes! I agree. I often find myself trying to leave at least two of the three home when I head out for errands, but in the end I love having the whole crew with me more times than not. That’s not to say we haven’t had our fair share of difficult , sometimes embarrassing moments in grocery stores, doctor’s offices, etc.
Difficult, yes. Embarrassing, yes. I’ve been there. But in the end, it feels worth it somehow, right? The idea that you are choosing to live the messy moments with them, that you are creating a stockpile of memories that are both ordinary and much more than that. Thanks, Jacqueline!
I do a bit of both: I try to take my kiddo out with me even though it’d be ten times easier if I just went myself, but I also don’t drag him with me to multiple functions so that he doesn’t get too tired. But yes, absolutely agree that easy isn’t always best, although right now I’m pregnant with twins and I’m having to choose easy over his interests the farther along I get. So, no long walks to the park for us; just tons of time at home coloring and writing for now.
Yes, you should definitely be choosing easy these days!! I do think it’s important to try to find a balance with these things. We can’t embrace the chaos every time. It’s just not realistic. And we owe it to ourselves to have bits and pieces of (relative) peace in our lives, right? Oh, and I think there is nothing wrong with time at home coloring and writing. A lot of that happening here too and I celebrate it. Thanks so much, Nina. Look forward to clicking over to your blog!