“You Really Shouldn’t Drink Right Now.”

Posted On: 01.11.16

you rock it

On Friday morning, I saw my therapist for our monthly appointment. I arrived at her office at the early hour of 6am and took a deep breath. We had lots to talk about. There’s been a serious health diagnosis in my extended family and though we are all feeling optimistic about the road ahead, the news has shaken me – and all of us – to the core. This was the first time I’d seen my therapist since all of this had happened and I felt incredibly thankful to be sitting across from her.

I filled her in on everything. I told her how I’d been feeling, that I was alternating between feeling okay and incredibly anxious. You see, I’ve always had a propensity toward anxiety and particularly vis-a-vis health stuff, especially since my miscarriage and losing Dad. My therapist listened, asked good questions which I gratefully answered. In moments of crisis, I feel very lucky to have her.

Toward the end of our session, I offered up a piece of information. I’ve been drinking some again and I feel okay about it. She nodded and allowed me to go on. I said something utterly unconvincing, but perhaps understandable, something like: It’s just that it’s been a hard time and having a couple drinks takes the edge off and for those few hours I feel better. Again, she nodded. This was the same old story and I could hear myself telling it. It’s all pretty moderate, I insisted. I just feel like I need it a little right now and maybe that’s okay?

And then something interesting happened. I cut off my own BS. I shouldn’t be drinking right now, should I? She smiled, repeated my own sentiment: You really shouldn’t drink right now. And then we discussed this. How alcohol only exacerbates my anxiety and messes up my sleep, how it’s important to do everything in my power to take care of myself right now. She said some convincing things. Something along the lines of: You are juggling and processing a lot and have a book coming into the world and you owe it to yourself to be strong and sharp.

I nodded. Thought about all of this. I knew she was right. I didn’t feel as if she were judging me, but rather that she knew me, that she understands my patterns and my pitfalls, the stories I tell myself again and again, in moments of strength and in weakness. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t the tiniest bit disappointed. Part of me wanted her to say: You know what? It’s a tricky time. Drink! Give yourself a pass now. You’ll figure it out when things settle a bit. But the much bigger part of me felt wildly grateful. And relieved. I do better when I don’t drink even though I still love the idea of being a drinker. (I’m so envious of those of you who can drink without baggage. Lucky ducks.)

And so that’s where I am. Dry again. For now. During this stretch where so much is happening – challenging stuff, very wonderful and exciting stuff – I vow to take care of myself as best I can. And for me the biggest way to do this is to keep wine out of the picture.

Before I left her office, I mumbled something. I need to come up with a replacement treat. And then I put on my coat and brainstormed aloud what that treat should be. And it hit me: writing. Telling this bit of my story, as messy as it is, as broken-record-ish as it appears, is, and has been, nothing but humbling and rewarding. And it makes me accountable too.

There are so many of us who are going through things, or have, or will. We all have murky moments and months. This is life. And we all have our ways of fumbling along, of coping. We all have things we grab for even when we know in our heart of hearts that they aren’t the healthiest, that they don’t ultimately make us happy. But this part is also life. What it means to be flawed, human, striving, alive in the world.

The brilliant part: I feel it. A weight lifting even as I type these words and tell this truth and own where I am. Where I am: in a beautiful and cherished and complex life that I want to see and feel and not run from even though the running is so much easier sometimes.

So. A big coffee cheers on this Monday morning. If you are struggling with stuff in your own life, if you’ve been drinking too much or scarfing too much pie or doing other stuff that makes you feel stuck or stressed or sluggish, hey, know this: you’re not alone.

But the cool thing? The very cool thing, the thing that makes me smile every time: It is up to us to change. To put ourselves first. To edit our stories. To begin. And begin again.

Another ramble. Another piece of myself. Another step forward.

All good. Better than good.

Oh, and check this out. Big Girl had a few friends over for a sleepover this weekend to celebrate her 9th birthday and we all got cozied up in matching leopard onesies. Totally ridiculous and over-the-top and freaking awesome. I look at this silly picture, my big old grin and I think: Yes. This is it. This is better than wine.


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62 Comments for: "“You Really Shouldn’t Drink Right Now.”"
  1. I love you and your story and your honesty. As it supports so many that need to hear it, as it allows all of us to own our truths and hour stories. And I support you as you take this breath and write these words and edit your story as I support you every time you edit your story.

    One thing, and here I go. I don’t think it’s lucky to drink without baggage. I think it’s lucky to have to pause and consider. Our world – our big, beautiful world – places so much emphasis on the glamour of a drinking culture, so much emphasis on being lucky enough to drink without issue. And at the same time, it brushes the many devastating consequences of drinking right under the rug. The luckiest people I have met are not those who can manage to ingest – the luckiest ones are those who question and those who make the move to look and dig and see. The luckiest ones are those who are brave enough to do what you do. To not settle for what everyone tells us we *should* do or should be able to do.

    As always, thank you for your bravery, and for discussing this thing that so many just don’t and won’t, and for bringing this conversation to light. Love love and love.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Thanks, Holly. As always, I so appreciate your perspective. There is certainly a part of me that still glorifies drinking and I’m not sure what that’s all about. I will work on my perspective on what it means to be “lucky” in this department.

      I really believe in talking about all of this and know that so many people struggle with this stuff, or other stuff, and feel like they can’t talk about it. The connection that comes from these stories is pretty magical, I believe. And we owe it to ourselves to try to lead good, eyes-open lives.

      Thank you 🙂

  2. Strong and sharp…sometimes easier said than done, but always a good path. Thank you.

  3. tara

    this was awesome to read today. although i don’t long for alcohol, it can be extremely difficult to be dry in both social and non-social occasions without feeling like a giant wet blanket. during my 6 months of chemo, you wouldn’t believe the number of people who consistently suggested i should be celebrating with a bottle of wine. and after my last treatment, it was, “now go tie one on!”. they all meant well. they were happy for me. and after 6 months, we felt like a bit of a family. but in reality, for all they knew, i could be a struggling user and struggling especially hard during a healthy crisis. an addict of any kind has so much responsibility to themselves and those important to them, i hope your words reach some of them and show them they’re not alone and they can stay strong.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Thank you, Tara. I wonder why so many of us feel, as you say, like a giant wet blanket, when we don’t drink in social situations? It’s kind of curious. I know that personally after a moment of feeling quiet, I tend to have an even more engaged, fun time when I’m not drinking… I also hope my words land where they should.xx

  4. So much in this. So much.

    Your honesty, as always, is refreshing.

    And I agree with all of it.

    Being strong and sharp. Stopping and thinking. Then doing what is best for you, even if it isn’t necessarily what you want to do.

    I like what Holly said – that you are lucky to stop and consider, to be able to make that choice that is best, even if it isn’t what you want. That’s inspiring.

    I’ve been indulging in sweets more than I suppose I should. But I have also been indulging in a yoga camp with Adriene Mischler. She is a YouTube yoga teacher that I have really embraced. These 30 days of yoga camp come with affirmations – something that I have enjoyed more than I thought I would. Something that is helping me have some of those same conversations.

    Good for you for making the hard choices.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Thank you, as always, Elise. We all have moments where we must stop and think. Am curious to hear your thoughts on yoga. So many of my friends swear by it and I’m thinking of giving it a go. xx

      • I have been an infrequent practicer. (Which isn’t even the right word, I don’t think, but I like it). I go through periods where I am practicing very often – although always at home as money for classes is not something I have the luxury of right now.

        The amazing thing for me is that when I’m not practicing, I don’t necessarily crave it. BUT (and this is a really big but for me) once I go back to it, I always feel like I’ve been missing something so important to me.

        I would definitely recommend giving it a shot. It’s not for everyone, but I have found that it helps me slow down and think and make time for myself. Also, if doing it at home, it’s something you could do with your girls (and your guy if he’s interested) possibly as well.

  5. Aidan, I needed to read this post – and I am so glad you’ve been in a rambling mood. Although, I am truly sorry that you have so much stuff going on that’s making you anxious and I really hope everything works out well. I feel terrible that it’s happening during what should be a very exciting and rewarding time for you.

    You’ve been on my mind the last few days. Aside from the Ramblers (which I’m loving), I’ve been thinking about your year of not drinking. I’ve been stuck in my own little rut and the most difficult thing for me is the lack of energy I’ve been experiencing. I’ve often been compared to the Energizer Bunny, but that hasn’t happened in quite some time. I’ve been doing a modified January cleanse – the modification due to a litany of excuses. I think I need to dive in and do something big to shake myself out of this and your year of non-drinking was so inspiring. I don’t know, maybe start small, like three months. Your posts from the last week have really inspired me to be more open in my own writing, and for that I’m enormously grateful.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Thanks, Allie. So much. Thrilled to hear that you’re loving the book and that my writing has sparked something in you. The more open I get here, the more I allow myself to reveal and feel, the more I realize that all of this is just so deeply universal. I also think there is something very unique and unnerving ultimately about this time of year… There is something in the chilly air that implores us to do better and be better and make changes.

      Your words here mean a lot. Thank you. xx

  6. Jill

    I love your honesty. I struggle over and over again with drinking wine and then stopping. I know all of the ways it’s not good for me…sleepless nights…anxiety hormone imbalance and so on. But…I see it as fun and entertaining. I’m not having it right now and I am excited to hear from others who relate to my struggle!!

    Hugs and prayers for what you and your family are dealing with right now.

    You all are totally rocking out those leopard P.J.s!! I respect and admire the way you keep your daughters out of the public eye! Happy BD to Big Girl!!

    Can’t wait to get your book!!

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Thanks so much for all of this, Jill. This dance with alcohol is super common, I think. Perhaps less common though? Talking about it. I hope that by writing about this topic here, I’m changing that in some small way, that these discussions have less stigma associated with them. Hope you love the book!!

  7. Lovely to read your words and learn more about your story this morning, Aidan. I’m approaching one year of sobriety and your blog posts about your year without wine inspired me to “take a break from alcohol” and write about it on my own blog. It felt indulgent at first, but when I heard from others that it helped or that could relate, it only bolstered my resolve to abstain from alcohol and dig deeper into why I used alcohol to relax, take the edge off, cope, celebrate, indulge and hide from life.

    The permission I granted myself to be honest and share my struggles and accomplishments has been an important part of my journey to sobriety. At month 7, I started calculating how I could add wine and booze back into my life. The mental math I performed only confused matters for me. On month 7 and one day, I attended my first AA meeting. Those first seven months were eye-opening and I never felt healthier or more clear in my thoughts and intentions. I trained and hiked four mountain ranges. I decided to go back to college after 25 years and started attending classes last summer. But I was still missing something.

    Today is Day 342 without alcohol for me. AA has anchored me in a way I never thought possible and as an agnostic control freak, it still surprises me every single time I go to a meeting that I’m actually sitting in that chair. My mantra has been that “I’m willing to be willing” and when I want to skip a meeting or cancel an appointment with my sponsor, I just remind myself that “I need to be willing to be willing” to see where this path takes me. That’s all. Nothing more. Nothing less.

    Sending you love, strength + gratitude on your journey.

  8. Amy

    Just love your honesty. Very sorry to hear that you have a health crisis in your family. Sending lots of prayers that your family member gets through this difficult time surrounded by you and your darling girls. Counting down the days til your book arrives! xxx

  9. Laura

    Thanks for your words, Aidan. So much of this resonates & I will write more later, but I didn’t want to read & click through without saying thanks.

  10. Gale

    For what it’s worth, I think you’re doing a fantastic job of taking care of yourself right now. You know what works for you and you’re sticking to it. Keep on writing and we will all be here reading your words.

  11. Michelle

    Me too. the inability to process / manage pain or anxiety or stress sends me into knee jerk reaction mode. It’s so easy. And it always leads to too much, and the inevitable spiral. Thanks for reminding me we are not alone. Your words lift me. Always.

  12. Thank you once again Aidan for inspiring me…your raw honesty and truly beautiful writing which resonates within me — with heart and hope!
    I will take these words, “To put ourselves first. To edit our stories. To begin. And begin again.” for today’s (and ongoing) mantra.

  13. Heather

    “You’re not alone.” Hearing that makes all of the difference, no? And that, at the heart of the pausing and questioning and sharing, is what I love most about this. Because feeling alone with these feelings sometimes makes them so much more powerful.

    I kind of gave a mental high-five to you as I read, “But this part is also life. What it means to be flawed, human, striving, alive in the world.The brilliant part: I feel it. A weight lifting even as I type these words and tell this truth and own where I am.”

    Thank you for owning where you are and sharing these thoughts, ones that, as you have said, many of us (all of us?) have felt, pondered, wondered in our inner monologues. Thank you for rambling, for reminding us of this, and for reminding that we aren’t alone.

    xoxo, you.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Thanks, you. Love your words here and our conversations in real life. Mental high-fives all around 🙂


  14. I’m so glad you wrote this. I posted this on IG but I’ll say it here, too.

    The comment about “lucky ducks” strikes me hard, because I think YOU are lucky. Just like I am lucky. It took me a while to see it this way, but then I started hearing myself say “we are the luckiest” — and we are — any of us who gets to wake up is. Although it feels the opposite, this isn’t here to punish you, it’s your great privilege. Because it’s the doorway to waking up. To being brave. To a deeper existence. To being a teacher. To bearing witness to your beautiful and messy life. It’s hard, but it’s MUCH harder to be half-awake. We’ve all got something that that takes us there, or will, if we let it. Love you. Keep showing up.


    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Laura, I’m grateful for this. I do think I need to rethink my definition of “lucky duck” and there’s something in my post which suggests that I still glorify drinking to a certain extent. That it’s much harder to be half-awake? I so agree. Thank you. xx

  15. Oh my, I need a leopard onesie! But seriously, this resonates. I feel like I’m in the same boat right now. Sometimes, I buy a new lovely herbal tea for evenings when I’d rather pour a glass of wine and that does help 🙂 Not always, but at least sometimes!

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      The leopard onesie is silly and DIVINE. Cheers to being in the same boat… well, not exactly, but getting out of that boat. Thank you.

  16. Katie Crane

    Hi Aidan — We met long ago, back in 2013 when my husband and I were living in NYC on a year-long sabbatical from our home in Boulder, Colorado. We met for coffee at the Le Pain Q. on 84th and Amsterdam. In any event, I originally found your blog through a series of weird connections that I won’t go into, but your words about drinking were what really struck me then and still do now. I’m 47 and have had a love/hate relationship with alcohol my whole life (my mother was an alcoholic), and I haven’t had a drop to drink in over three years. I gave it up for reasons very similar to your reasons — I didn’t need to because I was out of control, I never drank all that often, but when I did, I tended to have too much, not crazy, just too much for me, such that I’d feel guilty in the morning and wonder about my behavior, etc. Since I’ve given it up, I often think about going back to it, but so far I haven’t generated a good enough reason or enough desire to do so. I’m open to a change in feelings toward it, but so far it hasn’t happened. Your words and your honesty about your own relationship to alcohol are ever-inspiring and make me realize I am not alone in my mental musings about alcohol. For now, it holds no appeal, but I am never sure how I will feel about it the future. Thank you for sharing your experiences in such an honest, approachable, human way.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      I loved our date and am so happy to see your name and words here. So many of us have these murky mental musings about alcohol. The response today is heartening and will inspire me to write more about all of this. Thank you.

  17. I love your “ramble” posts;) Thanks for your vulnerability. Very inspiring. xo

  18. Claiming what works is often a hard choice, but it reveals strength and vulnerability. Keep on, keeping on, Aidan. Sending positive thoughts to your family member. xo

  19. Leigh

    Hi Aidan,

    I want to thank you for writing this honest, brave and beautiful post. I have followed you and your blog for quite a while now, since Life After Yes. I was immediately drawn to your writing. Your earlier posts about your struggle with alcohol were the first I read from a woman I could identify with who openly talked about her relationship with alcohol. Even then (when I had no intention of quitting drinking but knew I was drinking too much)they had a profound effect on me and I believe planted the seed for being drawn to women like you who openly talk about alcohol.

    Keep writing. Keep asking questions. Keep questioning society’s total and at times reckless acceptance of drinking. Keep taking care of yourself and doing exactly what is right for you. Edit your story however many times you need. You are breaking the stigma and that is most important.

    Sending love your way,


    P.S. – Cannot WAIT to read The Ramblers!

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Thanks so much for this, Leigh. I think it is really great to encounter people who talk honestly about this stuff. Thank you for the encouragement and I hope you love the book and if you do, that you spread the word!

  20. I wish I could remember where I heard or read this. I’m paraphrasing: Being an adult is wanting to do something that would be fun temporarily, but could harm you later, and choosing to not do it. I thought I would *automatically* start making the right and long-term best choices at a certain age; little did I know that it would get harder as life threw curve balls unpredictably and fiercely at times. Congratulations on making the choice you know in your heart is best long-term!

  21. Krista

    Thank you for this. For me, this post really highlights that recovery, or getting sober, or whatever you want to call it is a journey, not a destination. It’s a constant reflection of where you are on your path, where you have been, and where you want to be. It shows that it is not always black and white, even though we sometimes want it to be. It’s ok to stop and ask the question again. In fact, that is what we need to do. Whether years into recovery or days, this journey requires us to pause and ask ourselves – am I going where I want to go? It is refreshing to hear a voice as strong as yours write about your complicated relationship with alcohol and your honest questioning about whether you “should or shouldn’t”. This “grey area” isn’t represented enough in my opinion, and maybe because it isn’t possible for most. I’m still trying to figure that out for myself, but I find posts such as yours so very interesting. XOXO

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Thanks so much, Krista. Agree that whatever it is – change, recovery – is a journey and not a destination. Do many of the most important things in life are.

  22. Jen

    I so love your honest ramblings – I drink them in like oxygen, because I crave realness and rawness and bravery in an often fake world. I used to be a drinker, for the wrong reasons, and now I am mostly not a drinker, but often wish I was. I have pondered that glorification before, to no success, but it’s validating to know others are feeling it and thinking through it, too. I admire your honesty, both with yourself and with the world as you share. Please, keep it coming!

  23. This resonates with me. We are all going through challenges and we all have messy lives. Thank you for sharing. I come over here and leave small messages because I am running and I rather leave a small word of encouragement than nothing at all. You are going to do great, take deep breaths and enjoy the love that surrounds you. Let that love embrace you and everything else will fall into place. xo

  24. Mandy

    Thank you for being so open and honest. I, too struggle with anxiety especially in regards to health stuff. It’s good to know I’m not alone. My crutch when I’m anxious tends to be food; therefore, I struggle with weight and all the health concerns that follow. You inspire me to do as you have done and find another release. I’ll make a note to talk with my therapist about this!
    Thanks again for sharing.

  25. Catherine

    I struggled like you did with alcohol for many years. Stopping. Starting again. Moderating. Creeping back up to drinking too much. I finally stopping for good over a year ago. Giving up alcohol is the best thing I’ve ever done. If nothing else, I don’t torment myself anymore with all of these questions you are asking yourself. (Should I drink? Shouldn’t I? Is it ok in this situation? –But, I’m sad, but I’m anxious, but someone is sick.) It just takes up so much mental and spiritual energy. I can now direct all of that energy towards something more rewarding- my family, my writing, my yoga practice, hell, pretty much anything is more deserving of my time and energy than ruminating anymore on whether or not I should be drinking.

    I highly recommend Vedic meditation as a replacement reward. When I sit down to meditate it’s like sinking into a warm bath– it offers the same relief a glass of wine used to without any of the drawbacks. It also happens to calm anxiety like a charm. Let the booze go. Life gets infinitely better. XO

  26. Catherine

    Oops, a typo above– stopping should be stopped. Anyway, I also wanted to encourage you to explore yoga after reading one of your comments above. It is great for anxiety and stressful times and you have SO MANY wonderful teachers in NYC. Elena Brower is my favorite. She can teach you yoga and also to meditate. She’s also newly sober. 🙂

    • Catherine, I subscribed to the comments on this post via email and happened to see yours come through and just have to comment – Elena Brower is going to be on HOME podcast (the podcast I run with Holly Whitaker) next week. She IS amazing. XO

  27. Writing is my favorite treat and therapy. Been in that place where it felt like a couple of drinks might be the treat I needed but sometimes I got a trick instead.

  28. Pamela

    Oh I love all of this: your bravery and vulnerability, your honesty and forgiveness, writing as a treat, this willingness to really take care, and the uncertainty. I also go through drinking and dry phases and tell stories and the truth. But it’s all part of it and I am so so happy you write it down and share it. Thank you! I know this is a challenging time for you and I hope you find comfort. I’m sending prayers for health and wellness to your circle!

  29. Nicole

    I’ve been a silent follower of yours for a while and have always admired your honesty,openness and ability to write about such intensely sensitive issues such as drinking. We live in such an alcogenic culture where we are taught to turn towards alcohol when life gets hard or boring or interesting or happy or sad. We soothe with alcohol, we celebrate with alcohol, we socialize with alcohol. But we don’t have to. We actually have so much power to choose not to.
    I have been sober for almost 2 years and it has been hard but it also has been incredibly grounding. I am a better mother,I am finally financially stable as a single mom, and I have made leaps and bounds in my career. I owe so much of that to my sobriety because being sober means I am less anxious, less depressed and better rested. We drink to soothe our anxiety but as your therapist said, the alcohol only increases those anxious thoughts and feelings.
    When I want to drink I hold tightly to the thought that alcohol does NOT make anything better. Rather, it makes things worse…good ol’ delayed gratification. If I can get through those cravings, they soon pass and I am always so much happier to be sober (and less anxious).
    Your writing is so influential and I am so grateful that you are a brilliant artist writing about such an important topic. We need to talk about this more and more, so please keep rambling!
    Thank you so much.

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      I’m so grateful for this comment, Nicole. Thank you. It makes me smile to realize how many of us there are who are thinking about this and making a different choice. Clearly, I’m still figuring this all out, but every time I right about not drinking and how wonderful it can be, I grow more convinced that this might be what’s best. And I love, and appreciate, hearing other stories – like yours. Can’t thank you enough.

  30. Anya

    You’re stronger than you know. As others have commented, I encourage you to try yoga, any form of yoga. For me, it was physically impossible to drink and practice yoga. Your body and mind will become VERY strong/calm (in the best way) when practicing yoga. And then you will be addicted to that! A wonderful addiction! And remember…. Simply trying makes you stronger:))

  31. Alissa

    Firstly, Aidan I’m so sorry that you and your family are going through a tough time right now. Sending you all much love, courage and healing goodness.

    I too struggle with anxiety, particularly health anxiety, and whilst I haven’t had a particular issue with alcohol, I’ve learnt the hard way that when I start to feel the world move beneath my feet I really have to strip it all away and go back to basics when it comes to self care. Good food, exercise, talking only to good folk and giving my mind and body time to rest. Which means no drinking, no sugar, no late nights…no numbing and no distracting. It’s not very sexy, but it’s very very necessary.

    Not only do I feel better physically, but the act of (as you say) catching my own bullshit excuses and choosing to take care of myself is kind of magical. It lifts my head. Makes me feel stronger and more in control. A beautiful thing for an anxiety sufferer! It’s not easy but actively choosing to be on your own side can be one hell of a transformative thing.

    As for the alcohol…well, I’m currently 13 weeks pregnant and the experience of not drinking has been completely fascinating. Firstly, to realize what a huge part of social life it actually is. I’m not a big drinker yet I’ve somehow spent a huge amount of time and energy working out how to get out of it – and then having to fob off people who keep insisting a little here and there won’t hurt so why don’t I just relax and have a little tipple. Honestly, you’d think I’d been told I have to give up oxygen by the way some people react!

    But most interestingly, it’s been a real rollercoaster of a few months for me. ALL the feelings. All the fear. All the uncertainty. And I haven’t been able to take the edge off of a single one of those things. I have felt every single second of it and it’s been both brutal and beautiful.

    I found myself wondering the other day if I’ll go back to drinking. I feel so much stronger and clearer choosing to be without it, but even now, as one of the ‘lucky ducks’ you speak of, I feel it would be a hard thing to do socially. Then I realize how completely mad that sounds and start to wonder why I can so easily make that choice for the health of my child but struggle with the idea of doing it for myself.

    So complicated.

    Anyway. Rambling. But most importantly, congratulations on choosing health, sanity and YOU.

    Much love.

  32. Wow you really strike a chord. I’ve always been a little intrigued with this about you (I follow you on ig), but this morning in the wee hours of the morning on this snowcation, I thought, “I need to give up wine, but how” so today I found this, knowing you have perspective and truth. Every year I give up alcohol in January, but this year I haven’t been able to do it, and I’ve told myself and my best friend, “I just can’t do it right now” and the reason is that my husband at 36 has been diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease (and I have two girls, 9 and 5, and I teach 8th graders) — so I have a lot of reasons or excuses to need that glass of chardonnay to take the edge off, BUT I thought today, I’m just going to do it. The problem is I don’t know how to do it so I’ wanted to take your lead; imagine my surprise to read that what is nagging you is a health diagnosis and your therapist and your inner self saying not to drink. I’ll be writing about it soon to help me cope, but you’ve been a great start. Thank you.

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