Who am I?

I am many things: an author, a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a lawyer of latter day, an Ivy League snob, a professor of insecurities, a playground philosopher, an overthinker of existence… The list goes on. And on. Like many of you (all of us?) I wear many hats, perhaps too many. For many years now, I have struggled with the simple and profound question of identity.

At a cocktail party, when people ask me what I do, I’ve historically stumbled my way through something like well, I am a lawyer but I no longer practice and I write now, and I take care of my three young girls… I have finally (and happily) decided upon my cocktail party pitch, which doubles as the tagline of this blog: I write books and raise girls {in the wildness of NYC}. Wildness? A reference to Thoreau who is one of my favorite thinkers.


I write books.

My first novel Life After Yes was published in 2010 by Avon which is an imprint of HarperCollins. I am hard at work on my second novel, a contemporary story about three women who met at Yale. I am represented by Brettne Bloom of Kneerim & Williams.

The truth is that I struggle daily trying to balance my writing with my raising. But. This struggle? It is a privilege. I do my best not to lose track of this important truth.


I raise girls.

My most important role (hands down) is that of mother. My girls are everything to me and will always come first. This makes writing – and doing anything else consistently – hard, but I’m up for the challenge. I am forever indebted to a young woman whom I refer to as Nanny for allowing me to tag in and out of the kiddie chaos for chunks of time to write. On any given day, I zip around the city with my MacBook Air tucked away in my messenger bag (along with Dora stickers and fruit snacks and barrettes, etc) and park at various coffee shops to sneak in writing time. When people ask if I have a strict writing schedule, I smile. One day perhaps.

My main characters.

There is this guy. Husband. I met him at a bar really late at night. And we talked and talked. And stumbled into this rich and complicated life. Husband features prominently here, but I try not to embarrass him too much. As those who know him in real life will attest, he really is that nice.

There are three little girls. They arrived between 2007-2011. On this blog, I refer to them as Big Girl (5), Middle Girl (3), and Little Girl (1). These kids are bright and demanding and have the most gorgeous blue eyes that you will never see because I am rabidly protective of their privacy. I am willing to confess many things about myself but their sweet faces and unique names will be kept off this blog.

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6 Comments for: "WHO"
  1. PortlandMomma

    Loving the new design! 🙂

  2. I have 3 boys, ages 6, 4 and 2 and recently started a second blog because my first one is all about them (for family that lives far away). And I have also stumbled terribly when people have asked what I do and for the past 6 years, I’ve been able to hide behind being a mother. But I’ve decided to stop hiding, to admit I am in fact a writer and to sneak in some writing time as best I can. Liking your blog – going to poke around some more! 🙂

    • Aidan Donnelley Rowley

      Can’t wait to check out your blogs. Sounds like we have a bit in common! I tell people that I do not have a schedule but sneak my writing into the nooks and crannies of my life – which is true. Happy you made your way here!

  3. Aidan: I am planning to cite one of your articles and link to you here in a September post for Psychology Today. Would you please contact me either via my website contact link or through PT’s bio page. Thank you. Susan

  4. Patty

    Hello Aidan! I have just found your blog as I begin to do research on how to create my own. What I find so funny & wonderful is I found you through Laura Munson – who I have never met, but by simply taking a chance and reaching out – she reached back. Several emails, an amazing phone call and the beginning steps to reach Montana in September, I really feel like she has been a friend for years. Reading your blog confirms what I have just begun to learn & explore and prepare for the Haven experience. I am SO glad you are there/here/nearby, that my living room is the same color as yours, I have daughters too and we really are all connected – but may have not had the opportunity to say hello! Breathe Deep, Think Peace Patty

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