On Miscarriage & Hope

Almost 8 years ago, I had a miscarriage. It was absolutely devastating. I weathered the unthinkable sadness and was, ultimately, so lucky to go on to have three little ladies, ladies who exhaust me to no end but bring an incomparable richness and meaning to my life.

Years later, I don't think about my miscarriage often. But I do from time to time and when I do, I like to write about it. I'm a big believer in telling stories, even, maybe especially, the hardest ones. About a year ago, I wrote about my miscarriage and my now family on the Huffington Post. The article was hard for me to write, but the rewards were immense. I heard from so many people who've survived this kind of loss. Stories piled up.

Just this afternoon, I received a note from a reader. It moved me tremendously and inspired this post (my third of the day!) After I read this note, I asked the reader if she'd mind if I publish it here. She was excited at the prospect. Here it is:

Aidan,

I just wanted to thank you for your honesty. I stumbled across your article from last year that touched upon how important it is to share your stories of loss -- particularly when it comes to longing to be a mom. My husband and I lost a baby this summer, and I'm afraid that tomorrow when I head in for a second ultrasound, I'm about to lose my second. They could not find a sac last week, and I'm afraid my biggest fears are coming true....again. Reading your words felt like a balm to my soul - not that it erased the agonizing emptiness I feel - but as my tears streamed down, I felt such a glimmer of hope. Family and friends have been incredibly patient and loving these past few months, but only someone who has walked this dark road seems to know the extent of the pain. I felt understood as I read your words, and I felt a new sense of courage. Courage to walk the road today...and courage to try again tomorrow.

So, I just thought you should know that a 28-year-old in Texas was deeply touched by your honesty.

Thank you so much, A

PS I'm the middle of three girls, and I'm convinced that there's nothing better than sisters :)

Tomorrow, she will find out whether this pregnancy is viable or not. I told her something, something I believe with every bit of my being. I told her that no matter what tomorrow brings, the future will be bright.

I'm wondering if you will take a moment to tell your own pregnancy/miscarriage/fertility/family story or offer some words of encouragement before her appointment tomorrow? It would mean a lot to her, and to me.

Thanks, guys 😊